Monthly Archives: March 2005

The hidden message

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BBC: Lib Dems unveil election slogan
The Liberal Democrats will present themselves as “the real alternative” in the forthcoming general election campaign, Charles Kennedy has said.

The real alternative isn’t a slogan; it’s a crossword clue!

As any cryptic cruciverbalist knows, when you see the word alternative, you should immediately look for an anagram of the word(s) preceding it. And what is an anagram of the words the real? That’s right:

LEATHER!

I can see what you’re up to, Charles, you old perv. Clever of you to go after the Tory vote like that.

Fingers and toes

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BBC: Finger length ‘key to aggression’

No it isn’t.

The BBC’s headline is committing the common (and sloppy) mistake of confusing a correlation with a causational relationship. Here is what the article actually says:

The length of a man’s fingers can reveal how physically aggressive he is, Canadian scientists have said. The shorter the index finger is compared to the ring finger, the more boisterous he will be…

The trend is thought to be linked to testosterone exposure in the womb.

In other words, finger length and aggression are both thought to be affected by a common factor (you’ll note I didn’t say cause), namely testosterone. But to say that finger length is the ‘key to aggression’ (albeit in quotes) is like saying that the coldness of my toes is the ‘key to the snow’ in my garden.

Time to get off my hobby-horse and put on some thicker socks.