Monthly Archives: August 2006

Neologisms

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Until I met Stense, I didn’t know the meaning of the word ditzy.

That came out all wrong. What I mean is that, until I heard Stense use it, I was not even aware of the word ditzy. Likewise schlep. Ditto filmic. That’s three new words in sixteen years.

Apparently, until she met me, Stense didn’t know the meaning of the word asshat. You can’t say our friendship hasn’t been mutually educational (in a ratio of 3:1).

Last week, Stense sent me a text message intended for someone else, the ditzy cow.

Her words, not mine.

No claims bonus?

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I renewed my house insurance yesterday. My insurance broker provided me with two quotes: one to renew my exisiting policy, the other to take out a brand new policy with exactly the same cover with exactly the same company. The second quote was £77 cheaper.

In other words, my insurance company wanted to charge me £77 for the privilege of continuing to give them my custom.

That’s not how it’s supposed to work, chaps.

Significant anniversaries

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Five years ago today, Jen moved into our new (well, rather old, actually) home in the Pennines. I moved in a few days later.

Twenty years ago today, I started my first job after university. It was in a torpedo factory (no, really). The following weekend, my uncle asked me how I was enjoying work. I said it was a bit boring. “Well, get used to it,” he said, “you’ve got another 40 years to go!”

Half way there!

Offline

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Apologies if there are no updates in the next few days: my landline is down for the tenth time in five years. Normal service will be resumed as soon as BT can be bothered to sort it out.

Update: After eight phone calls last night and today, I finally managed to convince some chap in India who was reading from a script and who kept calling me Mr Richard that one fault every six months really shouldn’t be seen as perfectly normal. The bad news is that BT have narrowed the problem down to a box of wires buried underneath the road outside the house, and they’re going to have to get some temporary traffic lights set up and our neighbours to move their cars before they can sort it out. The good news is that my landline seems to be working semi-OK at the moment, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to tell them that.

A new Newton?

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Text message from Carolyn:

At Jodrell Bank, Chloe asked the astronomer why the sun was in the middle and the other planets all went round it!

A pretty awesome question, considering Chloe is only five. Actually, it’s a pretty awesome question whatever her age. Next thing you know, she’ll be wondering what it would be like to ride on a beam of light.

(I did, of course, point out for Carolyn’s benefit that the sun isn’t, in fact, a planet; it’s a newspaper, allegedly.)