I receive email:
David's genitals yesterday.
Dear Mr. Carter
I am a designer working for very small (and very new) publisher in Copenhagen Denmark.
I am interested in a photo you took of Michelangelo’s David in Firenza [Florence] that features a sharp detail of the sculpture’s genitals, which I saw at »Flickr«. The image is located at the following address: <http://www.flickr.com/photos/
gruts/442314069/in/set- >72157600040809215/ I am interested in reproducing this image (with reimbursement, of course) as a cover illustration for a Danish publication, a book detailing the pros and cons of male circumcision. As Denmark is a small country, print-runs are usually quite limited and this book is expected to have max. print run of 2000 copies.
If interested, we will be needing a high resolution image (min. 300 dpi) @ apprx. 250 mm in height.
Look forward to hearing from you.
All the best from Copenhagen
[Name and address supplied]
I said yes, obviously. Any proceeds to the Beagle Project.
Look out, here come the penis puns…
Separated at birth: David’s genitals and ‘Beaker‘ from Sesame Street! Check it out!!!
Penis puns? You seem a bit too cock sure that we loyal Gruts readers (yes, we really do exist), would rise to the bait. I felt equally sure you would block any of our limp attempts to tackle this one.
Wait a minute. A book on male circumcision? But Michelangelo’s David is famously mistakenly uncircumcised – the historical David would no doubt have been.
And did you hear about the cross-eyed circumciser who got the sack?
And did you know that circumcisers get paid, on average, £250 a session. Plus tips.
Arf.
He chose your photo over all the others on Flickr.
Makes you wonder how stiff the competition was.
I bet you all thought this was a cock and ball story.
On behalf of all of us at the Beagle Project: …uh …thanks?
don’t look a gift cock in the mouth, Karen.
Not so much a gift cock as penes from heaven.
The thing I most admire about this particular piece of sculpture is how Michelangelo managed to find a model with such superbly groomed pubes. Not so much a ‘brazilian’ as a ‘florentine’ (that’ll make you think twice next time you’re buying one at a bakers). The other puzzle about this statue is – if that’s David, how big was bloody Goliath? – and thank god we don’t have to look at his dick.
Superbly groomed pubes…or a merkin?
Merkin? possibly. I suppose it was best to be prepared for the unexpected exposure and create a good impression. Nowadays you’d be more likely to be tatooed along the length of the organ – MASTS which on certain occasions would read MASSACHUSSETS
LUDO and LLANDUDNO?
HELLO – Hey, I’vE just back from hoLiday in honuLulu, how the hell are yOu!
A simple Hawaii would have sufficed.
It must be very cold this morning……..mine just says MA
A rather epic comment thread, Richard, for which congratulations.
I find that, if I go beneath the radar, things carry on just fine without me.
Great to see such wonderful interaction between the male and female fans of Gruts, considering that theres a vas deferens between the two.
Two Jewish men stood at a urinal:-
One says ‘Dr. Cohen, St. Hymie’s, 1968′
The other asks ‘how can you tell?’
The first replies ‘he always cuts them on a slant, you’re pissing down my leg!’
My best friend’s name is Dick & he has had all of the jokes & insults.
My favourite was when someone asked him ‘have you got the time on ya dick?’ His instant reply was ‘no, just two hands!’