Unpukka Cwistmas fakewy

It was 17.5°C in Hebden Bridge on Friday afternoon. I know, because I checked on my car's thermometer. The reason I checked was that the centre of town was covered in snow.

But it turned out that it wasn't snow; it was fake snow. Jamie Oliver was in town filming a Christmas ad for Sainsbury's.

So, when you see the ad, I want you to shout at the telly, "THAT'S NOT REAL SNOW! I KNOW FOR A FACT: I READ IT ON GRUTS!"

My farmer friend and her friend popped into Hebden Bridge shortly after the filming had finished. "What's that dreadful smell?" she asked.

Jamie Oliver's cooking, apparently.

Richard Carter

A fat, bearded chap with a Charles Darwin fixation.

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