Monthly Archives: March 2010

Pulling our Nick Clegg

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The Sunday Murdock Times: Two more ministerial ‘cabs for hire’

… This weekend a YouGov poll of more than 1,500 people for The Sunday Times shows that by nearly two to one, 49% to 29%, voters agree with Nick Clegg, the Liberal Democrat leader, that this is the most corrupt parliament in Britain’s history.

Nick Clegg always struck me as a reasonably sensible chap, not given over to hyperbole. The most corrupt parliament in Britain’s history? Seriously? Did he actually do history at school? Has he forgotten what things were like before the Great Reform Act of 1832? No parliamentary representation for entire cities; rotten boroughs; the vast majority of men unentitled to vote (and no women whatsoever).

Surely Nick Clegg must be pulling our leg.

But no, let’s read what Mr Clegg actually said:

Hansard: Prime Minister’s Questions, 24 Mar 2010

Mr. Nick Clegg (Sheffield, Hallam) (LD): … Is not the truth that this Parliament will go down as the most corrupt in living memory because [the Labour and Conservative parties] both blocked reform?

So, there you have it. It’s not the most corrupt parliament in Britain’s history; it’s the most corrupt parliament in living memory. A small, but significant difference.

We’ll sleep sounder in our beds knowing that.

But if, by any chance, you’re considering not voting in the forthcoming General Election, remember your history, and the people who died to earn you the right to vote.

Italy

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Jen and I returned from a holiday in Italy on Wednesday. We stayed in Sorrento, and visited Pompeii, Capri, Positano and Naples. Here are the photos (or you can go here if you don’t like fancy Flickr slideshows).

You might notice that there aren’t any photos from Naples. Only a total idiot would take his brand new Canon EOS 5D Mk II camera to Naples. Mine was left in our hotel safe. That’s why they call them safes.

Naples in two words: shit hole.

Not bad pizza, though.

Binding agreement

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Jen occasionally suggests that I should go on a plastering course. I think the general idea is that I would then be able to plaster the house. A useful skill, I suppose, but I can’t help feeling that it would be far less hassle if we just paid a professional plasterer to do the work. I think Jen must secretly agree, because, in recent years, we have indeed, on more than one occasion, paid a professional plasterer to do such work.

I’d far rather learn woodwork. But there’s a problem with that too: Jen wants to learn woodwork for herself, and she’s damned if I’m going to cramp her style.

Which leaves me with the one handicraft I have always had a secret hankering to try, ever since I saw a documentary about it on the telly in the 1980s: book-binding.

Who knows? Perhaps, one day, when I’m retired, I’ll send myself on a book-binding course, and end up doing something as utterly wonderful as this:

(No, I don’t think it’s very likely either.)

A tomb with a view

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Jen and I like to plan ahead. Several years ago, we reserved our final resting place at the local Methodist Baptist [same difference] chapel. Not that we’re Methodists Baptists, you understand, but they’ll take anyone.

To be honest, I don’t care one jot what they do to me once I’m dead. I’ll be dead; why should I care? But it’s a pretty cool graveyard, with a rather smashing view.

Last weekend, Jen and I went for a walk near the graveyard. So I went and stood on my own grave and took a photo:

The view from my grave

The view from my grave.

If it’s all the same with you, however, neither of us is planning to fill it any time soon.

Lumb Falls

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I put my new camera through its paces at the weekend. What? I never told you about my new camera? Some other time perhaps. I made a little video. Note how nonchalantly I say that. I make it sound easy, don’t I? You have absolutely no idea. The nonsense I’m having to learn about different video formats, resolutions, frame rates, and crap like that, you wouldn’t believe me.

Anyway, I dedicate this video to Sony Music, on account of the fact that version one of said video included a rather beautiful piece of classical guitar backing music. But YouTube detected that I might have breached some Sony copyright or other, so I took it down. So, instead of getting a free plug for one of their CDs, Sony is going to have to do without—and you get to hear my video au naturelle, just as Nature intended. (That would be the video which is au naturelle, obviously, not you. Or at least I hope not.)

Guitar? Schmitar! Dig all that white noise:

Those of you with fast broadband connections can view the video in high definition here (select 720p at the bottom of the video).