“That’ll be £5.35, please.”
“Sorry, I’ve only got a tenner… Oh, hold on, I think I’ve got the 35p!”
“That’s 45p.”
“Two A-levels in mathematics, don’t you know?”

Me: … And I’d like some cheddar, please.
Girl: What type of cheddar would you like?
Me: Have you got any of that stuff with the orange skin?
Girl: We’ve got some with red skin: Godminster.
Me: Sorry, that’s right, red skin… For some bizarre reason, I was thinking of Dale Winton.
[FX: Loud WOOOOOSH! noise, as joke passes right over girl's head.]

Actually, come to think of it, Dale Winton would be quite a good name for a cheese.

• At the Cheese Shop
• At the Cheese Shop, part 2

“Hello, I’d like to buy some of your strongest cheddar, please.”
“Well, we’ve got this stuff from the Isle of Mull. It’s got a real kick to it.”
“You mean it has a kick like a Mull?”
“…?”

• At the Cheese Shop
• Buying coal

“Hello, I’ve been sent to buy some cheese.”
“Well, you’ve come to exactly the right place.”