Category Archives: compare and contrast

Surround-sound

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Compare and contrast:

Alien helmet

A helmet visor reflecting a reddish-orange computer display in Ridley Scott’s 1979 classic, Alien.

Helmet Dr Who

A helmet visor reflecting a reddish-orange computer display in last Saturday’s Doctor Who episode, Cold War. (I’m not sure why the letters aren’t the wrong way round.)

Did you watch Doctor Who this Saturday? It was OK, as far as Alien/Das Boot crossovers go. What was not to like? A scary monster running amok, foreign submariners shouting “ALAAAARM!”, a sonic screwdriver, and a cute new sidekick standing around being wet. Certainly a hell of a lot better that the previous week’s frankly shite episode.

Particularly effective for me was the sound editing. I loved the way you could hear the alien scrattling around in the ventilation ducts throughout the show—even over the dialogue, when the human characters were trying to explain what the hell was going on. Nice touch, that, I thought.

Imagine my and Jen’s surprise, therefore, when the scrattling sound continued even after our heroes had seen off the alien. It was at this point that we realised we had something scrattling around in our living room ceiling. Bats, Jen reckoned. Could have been rodents, though.

Perfect timing. Very atmospheric. And no licence fee to pay! In yer face, BBC!

(And, no, scrattling isn’t a word.)

Brooce-sayer

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Compare and contrast:

Telegraph: Hurricane Sandy: Atlantic City becomes Atlantis
Much of Atlantic City, the Las Vegas of the US East Coast, was under water on Monday night as America’s storm of the century threatened to come ashore on top of the iconic resort.

with:

SandyHitsAtlantic City

The clues were there for us all to hear, if only we’d opened our ears and listened.

Accept no false prophets. The Bruce is out there.

Meanwhile, in related news, there’s a curfew in New Jersey. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if access to E Street is banned.

Putting the Olympics into perspective

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So, Team GB finished the 2012 London Olympics with a magnificent haul of 29 gold medals.

Let’s put that figure into some sort of perspective. If you were to trade each one of Team GB‘s gold medals for an African elephant, you would have 29 African elephants: a sizeable herd in anyone’s book.

If you were to trade each one of the USA’s 46 gold medals for a hairy wood ant, however, you would only have 46 hairy wood ants: barely enough to form a viable colony. And if you were to trade each one of China’s 38 gold medals for a honey bee, their entire lifetimes’ honey output, assuming 36 of them were drones, would be insufficient to fill a packet of Lockets honey and lemon cough sweets.

A herd of African elephants versus a struggling colony of wood ants, or half a packet of Lockets. Just dwell on that comparison for a union-flag-waving moment.

(The least said about Australia’s paltry seven termites the better.)

GINGER MOP-TOP JOURNO (43) IN SECRET OZZY ROMP

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Or, as the Observer puts it:

George Osborne was dragged deeper into the furore over the Murdoch empire’s links to government as it emerged that he entertained Rebekah Brooks for a weekend at his country residence as Rupert Murdoch was planning to take over BSkyB. […]

News of the weekend gathering will also increase pressure for Osborne to appear in person at the Leveson inquiry […] So far Osborne has been asked only to give written evidence, although his aides said he would now be happy to appear if asked.

What do you expect Osborne’s aides to say: “He’s shitting bricks”?

Anyway, I digress. Compare and contrast:

Brooks

Rebekah Brooks


Bob

Sideshow Bob from out of The Simpsons

… which I guess makes Murdoch Krusty the Clown.

The Wild Boys

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Compare and contrast the final sentence of my review of Dan Brown’s ‘The da Vinci Code‘:

“Shit, basically.”

… with the final sentence of Simon Le Bon from out of Duran Duran’s review of Dan Brown’s ‘The da Vinci Code’:

“Complete bollocks, don’t waste your money on it.”

It’s not often that you will find the driving forces behind Gruts and Duran Duran in such close agreement.

Mark our words.


Notes for editors:

  • Dan Brown’s The da Vinci Code is available on Amazon uk|.com
  • Simon Le Bon is an international pop star whose hits include Rio, Hungry Like a Wolf and A View to a Kill;
  • Richard Carter likes Brussels sprouts.