Moonshine

Dear Richard

Please excuse us for contacting you out of the blue. Zim Grady is a massively unknown three piece middle-aged hobby-ist band from Oxford, England.

We hope you’re ok with us using one of your images (this one) on some art to accompany an EP that we’ve made available for free download at zimgrady.bandcamp.com/album/moonshine-ep.

Moonshine EP artworkThe lead track on the EP, Moonshine and Harness, has a line in the second verse about clutching a bottle of Angry Chimp Moonshine. If you go to the link above, you’ll see that we’ve used your picture of a bronze chimp head from the Natural History Museum as the basis for a fictional moonshine brand logo. Should you have a listen we hope you’ll like the track (obviously!), and appreciate the re-use of your pic.

We’ve credited you under the CC license you chose for the image and linked to your Flickr homepage at the page on our website above. Please let us know if you’d like us to amend the credit in any way.

All the best,
John (the bassist from Zim Grady)

Can’t be done

Poor young Lana Del Rey! Everything was going so well, and then David Cameron had to come along and blurt out that he is a fan. Definitely not cool.

What? You don’t have a clue who I’m talking about? He’s the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, for Pete’s sake! Oh, right, you mean Lana Del Ray. She’s an up-and-coming pop chanteuse who made a song last year called Video Games, which was a big hit. It was pretty OK, if you like that sort of thing. Here’s the video. No need to watch it if you’re not that way inclined.

Like I say, it’s a pretty OK song. But what worries me about Video Games is the opening verse:

Swinging in the backyard
Pull up in your fast car
Whistling my name

Have you ever tried to whistle someone’s name? It can’t be done. Not unless the ‘person’ in question is a budgerigar, a Star Wars™ droid™, or a clanger. Go on, have a go: try to whistle the name Lana Del Ray. I guarantee it won’t sound anything like the name Lana Del Ray; it will sound much more like the opening four notes of Scott Joplin’s The Entertainer.

Tell you what, I’ll make it easier: try just to whistle the name Lana. Go on, I can wait…

It came out sounding like the first two notes of Colonel Bogey, didn’t it? It could have represented any two-syllable word, couldn’t it? Richard, for example, or onion.

Like I said, you simply can’t whistle someone’s name. Whistles come in notes; names come in vowels and consonants. They don’t map.

Why don’t people think about what they’re saying when they write these lyrics? Is it any bloody wonder the Prime Mister speaks in meaningless platitudes when this is the sort of nonsense he likes to listen to?

The Wild Boys

Compare and contrast the final sentence of my review of Dan Brown’s ‘The da Vinci Code‘:

“Shit, basically.”

… with the final sentence of Simon Le Bon from out of Duran Duran’s review of Dan Brown’s ‘The da Vinci Code’:

“Complete bollocks, don’t waste your money on it.”

It’s not often that you will find the driving forces behind Gruts and Duran Duran in such close agreement.

Mark our words.


Notes for editors:

  • Dan Brown’s The da Vinci Code is available on Amazon UK | .COM
  • Simon Le Bon is an international pop star whose hits include Rio, Hungry Like a Wolf and A View to a Kill;
  • Richard Carter likes Brussels sprouts.

Status cymbals

“If you can play a guitar and harmonica at the same time, like Bob Dylan or Neil Young, you’re a genius. But make that extra bit of effort and strap some cymbals to your knees, suddenly people want to get the hell away from you.”

—Rich Hall, American comedian.

Synthetic hip

Listening to a music podcast recently, I was frankly astonished to learn that there is a music genre called dubstep. How the hell did that one pass me by? I just can’t keep up.

Frankly, I think all these new music genres are getting out-of-hand. I could never understand why R&B nowadays contains hints of neither rhythm nor blues, nor why drum and bass briefly became the in-thing in the 1990s, when the Fall had been doing little else since 1976 (and long may they continue to do so!).

Anyway, be that as it may, it seems to me that naming a music genre dubstep really is scraping the barrel. Have all the good names gone? So, I’ve been giving it some thought, and have come up with my own list of brand-new music genres. Please feel free to take your pick and start trying to market it, as if it’s something exciting and new. More »

Lotus Flower

Hey, kids, for those of you who couldn’t be bothered to download the new Radiohead album when it came out the other week, it’s in the shops from tomorrow. As with all things Radiohead, it gets an official Gruts 5-star rating. Very good indeed. Here’s a sampler.

Believe it or not, I dance just like Thom Yorke in this video. Seriously. I suspect he’s been watching my moves. Although I think it’s fair to say that I have a better sense of rhythm.

(No, I won’t be posting a YouTube video. I have to draw the line somewhere, you know.)

The Captain

Following the announcement of the death of Captain Beefheart yesterday, regular Gruts commenter Nite Owl writes:

As I sit to type this, the numbness is starting to ease. Along with Frank Zappa, Don Vliet was a very big part of musical upbringing from age 13. I bought my copy of Safe as Milk (with 2 tracks missing) on the Marble Arch label & wore it out quickly. (I should have bought a better stylus).

To listen to interviews with Don was like listening to an alternative comedian who was so far out that nobody instantly got the joke. Even now, when I watch the Letterman shows, I hear things I missed before. A simple sideways look would speak volumes.

It’s really not the time to say he will be sadly missed because that happened in 1982 when he jumped ship (sorry) & replaced his microphone for a paintbrush.

As a teenager I felt that Don lived outside a world that didn’t make sense and he was saying something to me… & that meant everything. I think of myself as one of that small elite group who couldn’t wait to buy Troutmask Replica the week it came out (Peel played a track a week) & not just because it was fashionable to own a copy.

There will now be a rush of obituaries in the music press from those who only smirked at the weird man & his weird music. The rest of us will simply bow our heads & whisper ‘thanks Don’.

John Peel said it all when he said that he heard Don’s influence in so much music. Bless you Andy Partridge, P.J.Harvey, Mark Lanegan, Edgar Broughton, John French et al for believing in his music.

As Frank Zappa once said… ‘be quiet & listen to this man’s music, because if you don’t, you might miss something important & we wouldn’t want that to happen to you’.

Thank you, Richard for this opportunity. I am now going to listen to Ant Man Bee with the volume all the way up, just like I did in my old bedroom, except this time there are no neighbours to bang on the wall!

… and Hitchin writes:

When I was about 13 a girl (yes, not a male only pursuit) at my school had the names of the Magic Band albums written all over the covers of her books. They were obviously great titles, but I didn’t get round to buying my first one, Trout Mask Replica, for several years. In common with most listeners I didn’t get it all to begin with. But perseverance paid off.

There’s nothing else remotely like it. Some reviewers have said that the Magic Band sounded like they came from another planet. Not to me; they were born in the desert, came on up from New Orleans.

I think it was me that introduced the proprietor of this web site to the Captain. I believe, in an effort to put him off the scent, it might have been the loony-voiced Pena, “her little head clinking like uh barrel of red velvet balls” exclaiming “that’s the raspberries”. It didn’t work of course, as Gruts amply demonstrates.

I’ve loved Captain Beefheart’s music for 30 years and am more upset than I can say (or would have imagined) by his passing.

The dust blows forward ‘n the dust blows back.

Richard's iPod

It was indeed Hitchin who introduced me to the Captain (performing Pena) back in 1984. I thought it was dreadful. But it was my own musical tastes (if tastes is the right word) that were truly dreadful back in those days. A short while later, I discovered The Blues Brothers and asked Hitchin to do me a ‘bluesy’ mix tape. I dubbed the result the Hitchin Connection. Hitchin took the opportunity to sneak in four Beefheart tracks (all three of which were from Trout Mask Replica): Click Clack, Neon Meate Dream of a Octafish, Pena and The Old Fart at Play. My ears stood up when I heard that sound. I was hooked.

When Jen and I bought each other iPods for Christmas five years ago, I had mine engraved with a quote from my favourite Beefheart song (and, therefore, my favourite song full-stop), Gimme Dat Harp Boy. The same song is the ring tone on my phone. It always gets a laugh when it goes off in meetings. I’m playing it now, with the volume set to 11.

I still have Hitchin’s tape. It changed my life.

The last words should, of course, go to the great man himself. Here he is with the Magic Band singing Sure ’nuff ‘n Yes I Do—and demonstrating beyond any doubt that a harp (harmonica) ain’t no fat man’s toy. Brace yourselves…

We loved you, you big dummy

The Good Captain

Captain Beefheart(1941–2010)

Genius is such an inadequate word.

Suddenly, the world is a less wonderful place.

Toasting the great man with Laphroaig (what else?) as I type. Think I might play some music before I go to bed. It is likely to be a very, very late night. [Postscript: It was.]

See also: