… I thought the Lady wasn’t for burning!
So, Thatcher has been cremated…
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Category Archives: puns
Venus and Serena
Surely the most Tennissy Williamses.
(I’m here all week, folks.)
Q: Which world leader is the pointiest?
A: Why, it’s Angular Merkel, of course!
(I’m here all week, folks.)
StarWars™ neck-accoutrement pun challenge
Hitchin and his family are currently on holiday in the Yorkshire Dales, so, last weekend, Jen and I went over to visit them.
The Hitchins last Saturday
Hitchin proposed a walk. It was only a few inches on the map. But that (i.e. we) failed to take into account all of the contours involved. Then the sun came out. It was bloody knackering.
Somewhere in the middle of nowhere last Saturday.
A Twin-Ion Engine fighter a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…
Anyhoo, Hitchin’s two lads are big StarWars™ fans, and, during lunch the following day, they informed me that StarWars™ TIE fighters are so named because they have Twin-Ion Engines. I told them (only half-jokingly) that I had always thought that TIE fighters were so named because of their resemblance to bow ties. I then joked that, had George Lucas wanted to continue the neckwear-related theme, he should have called those walking-tank things cravAT-ATs. (Do you see what I did there?)
So, over to you, Gruts Gang: can you think of any StarWars™ neck-accoutrement-related puns? Fifteen points for the worst answer. (But no points at all for Episode IV: A Noose Hope, because that has Jar-Jar Binks in it.)
Giving the punters what they want
You asked for more knockers on Gruts, and I am happy to oblige:
A very large knocker last week.
You won’t see knockers like that in Murdoch’s tabloids.
Using my swede
Jen and I had roast pork for dinner last night. It was excellent. We had it with mashed carrot and swede. As usual, there was too much swede, so we only used half. The following conversation took place:
R: There’s half a swede left. I could use that to make the world’s biggest potato-print!
J: But it wouldn’t be a potato-print; it would be a swede-print.
R: Hey! I might win the Turnip Prize!
(I’m here all week, folks!)
Googie
Guardian: Googie Withers obituary
A striking presence on stage and in the great days of British film, she played the prison governor of TV’s Within These Walls.
I suppose, from now on, she’ll be referred to as Googie ‘No Longer’ Withers.