And, lo, it came to pass that a child was born in lowly Paddington, to humble parents. And all of heaven did rejoice, and all the people in all the lands of the Earth did raise up their voices and sing, for it was a miracle child. For, in all the history of mankind, no woman did ever bear child before.
And the Earth did shake. And men did converse with wolves. And the great enemy of the south was thwarted. And Vanessa Hudgens did share bikini holiday snaps with her blonde pal. And horses did enter burger restaurants. And Big Pharma did mobilise patients in battle over drugs trials data.
And there was an end to war and pestilence. And peace fell across all the lands. And God saw, and said it was good.
According to my calculations, the Archangel Gabriel should be appearing to Princess Duchess Kate right about… NOW!
BBC: Vatican to make John Paul II a saint
(Two seconds later, he bit it in the head.)
If I thought receiving a sainthood was any indication of merit (as opposed to, in most cases, plain insanity), I could be very miffed.
BBC: Pope Francis I elected
So, this planet is now graced with two infallible men. But what if they disagree? Answer me that.
So, I've finally seen off the Pope. Time to focus all of my attention on Murdoch.
There can be only one winner.
BBC: Catholic pupils 'invited to sign anti-gay marriage petition'
Education Secretary Michael Gove is to examine claims the Catholic Education Service (CES) broke impartiality rules on the topic of gay marriage…
"Schools have a responsibility under law to ensure children are insulated from political activity and campaigning in the classroom," said a Department for Education spokesperson. "While faith schools, rightly, have the freedom to teach about sexual relations and marriage in the context of their own religion, that should not extend to political campaigning."
Rightly? Would it be equally right for so-called faith schools to have the freedom to teach the biological sciences, say, ‘in the context of their own religion’?