Citizen for a day

A soccer game. The home team is one goal down after 90 minutes. The referee allows play to continue until the home team scores two goals…

Did he think he was at Old Trafford or something?

Well done Manchester City!

Your heart just has to go out to all those dejected United fans on their way back home to London right now.

(Nah! Mine neither.)

Big end tart

BBC Sport: Stoke 1-1 Dynamo Kiev
Kenwyne Jones' towering late header ensured Stoke progressed to the knockout phase of the Europa League.

I'm not sure that I like the idea of Dynamo Kiev. I tried Chicken Kiev once, and it was OK, but dynamoReally?

I wonder if all Russian soccer clubs name their teams after exotic engine-component recipes. I have to say, Sump Pavlova sounds rather nice, but I'm not at all sure about Carburettor Rarebit.

Those Russians are crazy. I mean, which other country on earth would name an entire town Ardon? I kid you not.

 Postscript: Oh, apparently Switzerland would. And France (twice). And Spain. Who says the Europeans can never agree on anything?

Newspaper hack

Let it not be said that all soccer players are a bunch of ignorant buffons. This from the increasingly erudite Wayne Rooney on Twitter earlier this week:

Scotland Yard detectives came to see me earlier and showed me some documents, looks like a newspaper have hacked into my phone.

Clear, concise, and almost grammatically correct.

Well done, Wayne. 7/10.

Swing low

I heard it on the radio first: John Terry has been stripped of the England captaincy by Capello!

Yes, that's right: someone I had never heard of had been removed as 'England captain' by someone else I had never heard of for bending one into the ex-girlfriend of a team-mate.

For those of you as baffled as I was, John Terry, it turns out, is—or, rather, was—the England Men's Soccer team captain. In other words, an overpaid, coiffured softie who can kick a ball. Apparently, captain is official BBC short-hand for men's soccer captain.

Meanwhile, in real sports news, the 2010 Six Nations Championship opens today.

(That would be men's rugby union, for the totally clueless.)

Postscript: Noooooooo!!! BBC: Prince Harry to become RFU vice-patron. If the nasty little ginger shit wants vice, he should follow the footie!

Gunners envy

I see Manchester City F.C. has a new manager, Roberto Mancini.

This is blatant Gunners envy. The Citizens simply couldn't stomach the fact that Arsenal were the only Premiership side whose manager, Arsène Wenger, had a name which was practically identical to the club's. So Man. City had to have Mancini. It was as simple as that.

What nonsense can we expect next? Chelsea Clinton to manage The Pensioners? Trevor Nunn to take over at Goodison? The late Oliver Poole to replace Benítez at Anfield?

Actually, than might not be such a bad idea.