To: Bert Millichip (sic), President of the Football Association

The President,
The Football Association,
16, Lancaster Gate,

5th July, 1990.

Dear Bert,

To quote the immoral bard, "the lads done well". I must admit, before last night's match, I was in two minds about whether our lot should be in Italy at all, but I was delighted to see their true English gutsiness the spirit of '66 and all that) show through in the end. Let's face it, the best team lost.

Now, here's the real thing: I hear that Bobby Robson's hanging up his managerial hat, so to speak, and that England is on the look-out for somebody to fill those same shoes. Well, if the FA hasn't already made up its mind about who it's going to plump for, I have a few suggestions of my own which you'll probably want to consider (in no particular order):

a) Brian Clough: "The people's choice", I suppose. Cloughie clearly knows what he's talking about, although you'd have to make sure he's not over-committed at Nottingham Forest. Let's face it, England Manager is a full-time job.

b) The Lad Greavesie: Not an obvious choice this one, but, behind that fluffy exterior is a footballing mind as sharp as a razor. I wouldn't mind betting he could still give the rest of the lads a run for their money on the pitch. If nothing else, he would at least add a bit of much-needed humour to the game.

c) Jimmy Hill: Jimmy always seems to have plenty of advice for the England Manager. Why not give him a go?

d) The Charlton Brothers (Jackie & Bobby): Perhaps my most radical suggestion - why not have two managers? Jackie has worked wonders for Ireland and, in his day, nobody could wallop the ball like his brother. A winning combination, I'm sure you'll agree.

e) The Manager of Tranmere Rovers (whoever he is): This chap has dragged my local team from their usual firm position (wedged permanently at the bottom of the fourth division) up, for a brief three-week period, into the second division. Be honest now; your lot did a bit of a dirty on The Rovers this week - why not make amends?

f) Tony Jacklin: Any man who can lead Europe to three successive Ryder Cup victories should have no problems knocking a few soccer stars into shape. I happen to know that he's available at the moment.

g) Me: No, only joking!

Here's to 1994 in USA!

Yours sincerely,

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