The Bishop of Liverpool,
c/o Liverpool (Anglican) Cathedral,
15th July, 1990.
Sorry for being so familiar, but I'm not sure how you're supposed to address a bishop these days!
Now here's a thing: I hear through the grapevine that you are in the running for the job of the next Archbishop of Canterbury. This is right-on! It's about time we had somebody with a northern background in the big seat at Lambeth Palace. If you should land the top job, I trust you won't forget who your real friends are.
The second I heard you were a contender, I rushed down to my local bookie's to put a fiver on you each way. Unfortunately, the people at the bookie's had also heard the news and were no longer taking any bets. No offence meant, but I'll be kicking myself if you win now.
In actual fact, I really wish you the best of luck in the forthcoming elections, or whatever it is they have. I hear that you were a pretty hot cricketer in your day and that you always kept a straight bat - that's what I like to hear. I also think your elephant paintings are absolutely marvellous. Unfortunately, I'm afraid I think the Prime Minister will have to be in a pretty reasonable mood to pick you from the shortlist, so I fear you've no chance at all!
Best of luck in the hustings.