BBC (front page): Prince Harry and Meghan Markle choose flowers
BBC (front page): Prince Harry and Meghan Markle choose cake
I see Prince William has finally plucked up the courage to propose to Kate Winslet. I'm no royalist, but I have to say they make a lovely couple.
It is reported that William sought Kate's father's permission to marry his daughter. Evidently, Mr Winslet neglected to enquire whether there was a history of madness in William's family.
Far be it from me to raise a touchy subject at this early stage, but I do hope the Powers That Be at Buckingham Palace will be urging Kate not to get her tits out during the wedding ceremony. Let's face it, she does have something of a reputation. But, like them or loathe them, royal weddings are supposed to be dignified occasions.
Put 'em away, Kate, we've seen them before!