Richard Carter FCD was born on top of a cast iron bath some time last millennium. He is 2% owl, sports a magnificent beard, has musical buttocks, and once shook hands with Dame Margot Fonteyn. He enjoys drinking warm beer with his friends, and is one of the founders of the Friends of Charles Darwin—an organisation which successfully campaigned to have Charles Darwin celebrated on a Bank of England bank note. He is also the inventor of the eponymous Carter Manoeuvre and a world-renowned rixologist. Mr Carter spends his spare time slug-slinging, and writing about himself in the third person. On balance, he would rather be here.