Our father

BBC: Archbishop of Canterbury learns real father was Churchill's private secretary
Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby says it “comes as a complete surprise” that a DNA test has revealed his real father was Winston Churchill's private secretary.

Meanwhile, in related news, Jesus is shocked to learn that his real father was some chap named Joseph.


Roast child

Roast child… Mmmmmm!

Parcel farce

Guardian: Cat delivered alive and well after spending eight days in the post


Eight days for a parcel delivery!

Lentil arithmatic

As yesterday was the last day of Lent, Jen and I decided to celebrate by eating lentils.

Although we both quite enjoy the taste of lentils, we don't eat them very often, and had never cooked them before. But somehow we managed to muddle through, transforming what might have been a relatively inoffensive vegetarian dish into something rather spectacular involving pancetta and pork sausages. In a word: absolutely delicious.

It was only as I was tending the simmering lentils that it occurred to me I had no idea what a lentil plant looked like. Lentils are pulses, so I guessed they hatch in some sort of pod. This morning, I verified my hunch on Wikipedia:

The lentil (Lens culinaris) is an edible pulse. It is a bushy annual plant of the legume family, known for its lens-shaped seeds. It is about 40 cm (16 in) tall, and the seeds grow in pods, usually with two seeds in each.

Whoa! Hang on a second! Two seeds per pod!? Have you seen the size of a lentil? They're not exactly filling. I reckon I ate at least a thousand of them last night. That's 500 (presumably minuscule) pods to shell. 1,000 pods, if you count Jen's portion. Who in their right mind is going to cultivate those? You'd have to be bloody nuts.

According to the same Wikipedia article, lentils were invented by aceramic Neolithic types in the Near East. I can't help feeling they might have spent their time more productively actually coming up with ceramics, then perhaps moving on to pancetta and pork sausages.

(Don't get me started on Brazil nuts.)

Sennacherib and co.

This Wikipedia list of state leaders in 680s BC strikes me as potentially useful source material. I bookmark it here for possible future reference.

Buying alcohol at Sainsbury's…

Checkout lady: Having a party?
Me: Erm… No.

Say three Hail Marys and a How's Your Father

BBC: Catholic priest Fr Stephen Crossan 'caught snorting cocaine in Nazi room'
A Catholic priest in Northern Ireland caught on video snorting cocaine in a room with Nazi memorabilia takes extended leave from the priesthood.