(M)On geese

My kid sister this evening on the Facebook:

Watching a documentary & wondering why the plural of mongoose is mongooses & not mongeese. Anybody know?

Me on the Facebook:

The word mongoose is derived from the Marathi word mangūs. Etymologically speaking, it has no connection with the English word goose, which is derived from the Old English word gōs, which was itself derived from the Old Norse word gās, which was itself derived from the Latin word anser, which was itself derived from the Ancient Greek word chēn. Did they teach you nothing at school?

Potted nonsense

key-shorterLong-term readers of Gruts might remember my occasional references to Mr Frank Key's implausibly eccentric website, Hooting Yard.

If so, they might be interested to learn that Mr Key has a new book out, entitled Mr Key's Shorter Potted Brief, Brief Lives.

I review it here.

An ideal stocking-filler.


Just who the hell do the people at GMail think they are, marking as spam an email sent to me entitled ‘An important message from the United Nations’?

This is outrageous. I am seriously considering writing to Ban Ki-moon. The only thing that prevents me is the realisation that the people at GMail would no doubt mark my email as spam. They've got us over a barrel, basically.

This is how wars get started.


BBC: Phil Collins ‘no longer retired’

Which bit of ‘No comebacks, Phil. They're not dignified’ didn't I make clear?

Memory bank

Things my bank expects me to remember when using their machines/online banking facilities:

  1. Account No
  2. Sort Code
  3. Bank card PIN
  4. Internet Banking ID
  5. Internet Banking Password
  6. Answer to ridiculously obscure security question 1
  7. Answer to ridiculously obscure security question 2
  8. Answer to ridiculously obscure security question 3
  9. Answer to ridiculously obscure security question 4
  10. Special Visa password for purchasing stuff online
  11. Mobile app password
  12. Security key fob PIN
  13. Where I put the bloody security key fob.

And I mustn't write any of these things down anywhere, because that wouldn't be secure.

But it's OK, because they've now simplified matters by allowing me (or anyone else in possession of my card) to buy stuff simply by waving my card at some detector by the checkout.

Payne and illness

BBC: Hundreds of disappointed fans are "left weeping" after One Direction cancel a Belfast concert minutes before they are due on stage, when Liam Payne falls ill.

Let's face it, these fans were already pretty sad to start with.

What do you reckon is going on here, then?


A knob-shaped sachet yesterday.