News from ‘The North’

‘Derby match’

Manchester United v. Liverpool: a ‘derby match’…

Where I come from, them’s fighting words. But I appreciate the Torygraph is a tad vague with geography north of Hampstead.

Free idea…

Someone should write a browser extension to change every use of the word(s) ‘PM’ or ‘Prime Minister’ to ‘Knobhead’.

Here’s a mock-up of the sort of thing I have in mind:

knobhead-pm-mockup

There’s no present like the time

My watch is 40 years old today…

…a 16th birthday present from my mum. £85—bought in instalments from the Littlewoods catalogue.

Thanks, mum.

Equinox

I get that ‘equi-nox’ = ‘equal night’, but what we all really want to know is who’s this Vernon chap it’s named after?

Postscript (5 hours later): OK, so, the Internet is weird. Someone on Twitter has just thanked me for the above crappy joke, which he immediately used as the inspiration for a short story.