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I've just been analysing the access logs for the Gruts website. The mind boggles at some of the things people were searching for when they encountered this site. So I've created a new page to record some of them. I've called it Odd Searches. [Postscript: I have since got rid of the page.]
I was going to call it Strange Searches, but that took up too much space on the menu bar.
BBC: Mariah upsets Malaysian Muslims (16-Jan-04)
Malaysia's Muslim opposition party has called for Mariah Carey to be barred from performing in the country.
You know, I'm beginning to suspect that these religious fundamentalists aren't quite as barking mad as they seem. (Unlike certain entertainers I could mention.)
9.0 Flesh and the Devil
Antony Thomas's feature-length documentary exploring all aspects of compulsory clerical celibacy in Catholicism…
Yeah, you try saying that after three Hail Marys and a couple of bottles of communion wine.
New Scientist: Robotic Segways play soccer with humans
Why can't they play it with a ball like everyone else?
Text message from Carolyn:
I'm at Bidston now - got on the wrong train and didn't realise. When I saw 'Birkenhead Park' I thought they'd just re-named 'Birkenhead' and I'd never noticed.
For reasons I needn't go into, I spent several hours yesterday chasing cattle across the West Yorkshire hillsides.
This morning, I sent an SMS text message to my friend Carolyn in which, amongst other things, I intended to say, Spent several hours yesterday chasing cows.
Unfortunately, the predictive text input feature of my mobile phone guessed that I actually wanted to say, Spent several hours yesterday chasing boys.
Here rests the case for the defence.
Here is the phone number for Audi Customer Services UK: 0800 699888.
I spent 20 minutes on the Audi UK website yesterday, trying to find it. They would only reveal it to me after I registered my personal details with them. So I did so, got the number, then immediately un-registered.
It really shouldn't be that difficult to obtain a so-called Customer Services phone number, so I publish it here in the hope that someone searching for it might come across this item via Google, etc.
BBC: Top UK dish 'hooked French first' (08-Jan-04)
It is thought to be the quintessential British meal, but new research claims the original idea for fish and chips came from Jewish and French dishes… Professor Panikos Panayi of Leicester's De Montfort University has begun a £6,000 research project to investigate the global influence on British food. He said fish and chips mixed "French frites with Jewish fish dishes".
De Montfort University, eh? Sounds suspiciously French to me!
Tell you what, François, you keep quiet about the fish & chips, and we won't let on that it was us Brits who invented sparkling wine. That's champagne to vous lot.
BBC: BBC halts Kilroy for race 'rant' (09-Jan-04)
The Kilroy programme will be taken off air immediately following comments made by Robert Kilroy-Silk in a newspaper article, the BBC has announced. The presenter branded Arabs "suicide bombers, limb amputators, women repressors" and asked what they had given to the world other than oil.
Of course, what Kilroy should have done was to slur Scousers instead: they're used to it. For example, I just heard Simon Hoggart on BBC Radio 4's News Quiz make an gratuitous joke—much to the London audience's amusement—about how a Scouser's idea of formal wedding attire is loose, comfy clothes and shorts. This unnecessary (and, let's face it, unfunny) anti-Scouse jibe was made during a topical question (about Britney Spears's recent short-lived marriage) that had absolutely nothing to do with Liverpool or Scousers. Will the BBC be taking Hoggart off the air, do you reckon—or do they see Scousers as fair game?
BBC: Rusedski fails drugs test
British tennis star Greg Rusedski has tested positive for the banned substance nandrolone.
British? Nope, I think you'll find he was born in Canada. Not one of our lads. No siree, Bob.
Come on, Tim!