What the hell is an 'ab'?

While we were out on Monday, Stense bought herself the latest edition of Men's Health magazine.

Excellent motoring section.

Now, believe me, I've looked: Stense is definitely not a man. So what on earth was going on there, do you reckon? Stense claimed she had bought the magazine for the recipes. Yeah, right—and I bought this month's Playboy for the Robert Redford interview.

From what I've seen of Men's Health magazine—which, you'll appreciate isn't much—it seems to be aimed at blokes who like to stand around in their underpants all day working on their 'abs'. And for women who have a thing about blokes who like to stand around in their underpants all day working on their 'abs'. Which is most women, as far as I can tell.

I haven't a clue what an 'ab' is, but I'm damned sure I wouldn't want to go showing mine off in public. Even if I could.

And what is it with those six-pack stomachs? Six-packs are for lager-sipping softies. Real men drink real ale, and that stuff comes in barrels.

I don't understand women, I really don't. They keep insisting that, when it comes to men, looks aren't important; it's personality that counts. But when did you last see a woman buying a magazine with Fred Dibnah or Jeremy Paxman on the cover? Exactly! Women are full of shit.

Jealous? Me? No way, ladies! There's nothing those muscle-bound hunks have got that I haven't got four times over.

Richard Carter

A fat, bearded chap with a Charles Darwin fixation.


  1. Six pack?I can go one better. I've got a party seven.

    As for an Ab...it's the key between G & A. sometimes referred to as G#

    I hope that helps.

  2. I still have my six-pack. Unfortunately, I've lost the little piece of plastic that holds it together.

    [Anti-spam code on this one was VROOM. Kind of makes you think.]

  3. Like the haloween paint-job.

    "Ab" is, of course, and abbreviation for "abomination", describing the act of spending one's time moving pointless weights for which gravity has already found a perfectly tenable position, rather than constructively correcting the unnecessary fullness of beer-glasses.

  4. It's Haloween, so later today I shall be hollowing out Dale Winton to firghten the children with. Should do the trick.

    Not sure that this "blog" counts as a bulletin board, but if it did thenthe spam-code of "BBPOO" for this comment might be considered somehow fitting.

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