From an email to Stense

Had a rare old time in Barcelona, thank you for asking. Lots of nasty, fizzy, cold beer and warm, sunny weather. Kept forgetting I was in Spain, being convinced, for some reason or other, that I was in Italy. On the first evening, I got so pissed that I insisted on buying an old Spanish/Italian woman a drink. I took a shine to her because she was so short that the barman had to lift her onto her bar stool. We ended up conversing in French (please don't tell any of my friends). It was the first time my begrudgingly learnt 'O' Level French has actually been used to communicate with anyone who wasn't perfectly capable of talking with me in English in the first place. I told her that the monkey was in the tree, a vacuum cleaner is used for cleaning carpet, and that, in the year 2000, every family will travel into town by electric helicopter (because there will be no more petrol). As you will have gathered, I can only remember a few key French phrases, but I got by. I'm not quite sure what the old lady said in reply, but I think we might be engaged.

Richard Carter

A fat, bearded chap with a Charles Darwin fixation.

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