Future imperfect

BBC: Two-tier pensions plan suggested
Graduates might have to wait until they are 70 before drawing a state pension, the head of the government's Pension Commission has suggested.

Huh?

BBC: Over-60s 'too young' to retire
The number of over-60s continuing to work will double in the next two decades as people increasingly feel too young to retire, a report says. More than one in five workers will be working into their 60s by 2020—double the current figure—it was predicted.

What the hell is going on? Has nobody noticed it's the 21st Century?

This isn't how it's supposed to be. By now, they promised us, none of us would have to work any more: robot slaves would be doing everything for us—cleaning the house, and making nuclear-powered flying cars, and taking the dog for a walk—freeing up enough time for all us humans to become artists and aesthetes, or simply lounge around all day watching holovision. I distinctly remember being told about it at school. Hell, we even learnt about our perfect futures in French:

En l'an deux-mille, chaque famille possédera un petit hélicoptère pour voyager en ville.

Where did it all go wrong?

Hal 9000 computer
I'm sorry, Dave, I can't do that: modern computers are total pants.

And what about computers? Aren't we supposed to have banished the keyboard by now? That's right, we were going to talk to our computers in English (or French, if we could still be bothered), and they would understand exactly what we were saying, and they would program themselves, and they would never crash or anything stupid like that.

And what happened to the Mars colony, then? Tell me that. I had a book about it. It looked bloody brilliant!

The way I see it, the engineers have let us down very badly. They made promises they didn't keep. They lied to us.

And so did the pensions ministers, the bastards.

By Richard Carter

A fat, bearded chap with a Charles Darwin fixation.

One comment

  1. But think how much the government will save in pensions on all those schmucks who bite the big one between then & their new retirement age. Rather effects the old batting average, eh?

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