The word is out / You're doin' wrong / Gonna lock you up /Before too long… Who's bad?

Or, to put it another way:

Billy Jean is not his lover,
He went to bed with her little brother…

Yes, that's right, Michael Jackson has moonwalked out of court an unconvicted man. Who'd have thought it? I certainly didn't: I had a Wacko Jacko Stir Tally all set and ready to go.


Anyway, talking of Michael Jackson, I somehow forgot to tell you about the following conversation which took place between my dad, my mum and I late one Tuesday evening last November:

D: That Michael Jackson was a talented lad.
M: Yes he was.
R: Pity he turned out the way he did—barking mad and everything.
D: Isn't it sad about his brother?
M&R: Which brother?
D: Merrill, or something like that—he's wheelchair-bound these days.
R: Is he?
D: Yes. I saw him on the telly.
M: No he's not! You're thinking of the Osmonds!

Richard Carter

A fat, bearded chap with a Charles Darwin fixation.


  1. Of course Michael is innocent. So were Gary Glitter, Jonathan King & my uncle Barry!
    That's the trouble....everybody is always bloody innocent. I blame the kids every time.

  2. The only reason you found it strange that Michael Jackson walked out of court is because the Michael failed to provide the public which accurate news...

    The truth is NOT one single prosecution witness didn't eventually turned out to be a defense witness!

    The prosecution's case boils down to this : In a panic over negative publicity, Jackson conspired to kidnap the boy and forced him to deny acts of molestation that in fact never happened, and then only when he got over his panic he actually molested the child at the very moment when the whole world was watching.

  3. After the aqquittal Jackson is talking to his manager:

    J: That was close! I'm so stressed I could just use a quite evening to relax.

    M: OK Michael, why don't we get a DVD and slump in front of the TV?

    J: Great - let's get Aladdin.

    M: NO Michael! You'vehad one close callalready!

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