1. Richard, a favour for an absent Scouser (and a mother myself) please? Should you happen to be passing the scene of sorrow (Anfield Tackle), please convey my respects and lay flowers on my behalf - a mixed bunch of Chickweed and Henbane would be nice.

  2. What's the difference between kinky sex & perverted sex?
    In kinky sex you use a feather.
    In perverted sex you use the whole chicken (& leave it in an alley in Liverpool).

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