After much deliberation by the official judge (OK, she chose one at random, because she didn't think any of the entries were worthy of winning on merit), we finally have a winner of the My Fanny Up For Grabs competition. He is Justin, and his winning entry went as follows:
Fanny treated her husband like dirt.
His feelings she'd constantly hurt.
So he took his old rifle,
And filled it with trifle,
And blew her head off with dessert.
Congratulations, Justin, that was rubbish. Your top prize, an almost pristine copy of Fanny Cradock's rip-roaring roller coaster of a novel, The Lormes of Castle Rising, is in the post.
Think you can stomach more? Read all the rubbish competition entries.