We have a winner

My Fanny up for GrabsAfter much deliberation by the official judge (OK, she chose one at random, because she didn't think any of the entries were worthy of winning on merit), we finally have a winner of the My Fanny Up For Grabs competition. He is Justin, and his winning entry went as follows:

Fanny treated her husband like dirt.
His feelings she'd constantly hurt.
So he took his old rifle,
And filled it with trifle,
And blew her head off with dessert.

Congratulations, Justin, that was rubbish. Your top prize, an almost pristine copy of Fanny Cradock's rip-roaring roller coaster of a novel, The Lormes of Castle Rising, is in the post.

Think you can stomach more? Read all the rubbish competition entries.

Richard Carter

A fat, bearded chap with a Charles Darwin fixation.


  1. Justin definitely deserved the prize, but for the 'chive' limerick, which was far better than all the others.

  2. My favourite limerick of all time:-

    There was a young man called McCray,
    Who buggered his father one day,
    Saying 'I like it rather to stick it up father,
    He's clean & there's nothing to pay'.

  3. Isn't a chive a posh, southern scally?

    My favourite limerick goes:

    A mosquito was heard to complain
    That the chemists had poisoned his brain.
    The cause of his sorrow
    Was paradichloro

  4. I am of course gutted that my entry didn't win, and I am now boycotting every luvvie production Stense is involved with. Sniff. My favourite limerick is;

    There was a young lady of Ryde
    Who ate some green apples and died
    The apples fermented
    Within the lamented
    And made cider inside her inside


  5. I found this joke in a book on philosophy & thought I'd share it with you:-
    An elderly married couple went to see their solicitor because they wanted a divorce-
    'Why have you waited so long, you're both 93 & have been married over 70 years?'
    'Well', replied the wife, 'we thought we'd wait until the children had died!'

  6. When I got home from work yesterday Fanny's book was there on the mat and, despite Richard's scorn, I felt happier than I have for many years.
    I'm not sure I deserved to win but quantity has prevailed over quality.
    I'd like to thank Richard, my parents, my coentrants (particularly Nite Owl for kind comments) and, of course, God for giving us Fanny.

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