After much deliberation by the official judge (OK, she chose one at random, because she didn't think any of the entries were worthy of winning on merit), we finally have a winner of the My Fanny Up For Grabs competition. He is Justin, and his winning entry went as follows:
Fanny treated her husband like dirt.
His feelings she'd constantly hurt.
So he took his old rifle,
And filled it with trifle,
And blew her head off with dessert.
Congratulations, Justin, that was rubbish. Your top prize, an almost pristine copy of Fanny Cradock's rip-roaring roller coaster of a novel, The Lormes of Castle Rising, is in the post.
Think you can stomach more? Read all the rubbish competition entries.
Justin definitely deserved the prize, but for the 'chive' limerick, which was far better than all the others.
My favourite limerick of all time:-
Isn't a chive a posh, southern scally?
My favourite limerick goes:
I am of course gutted that my entry didn't win, and I am now boycotting every luvvie production Stense is involved with. Sniff. My favourite limerick is;
There was a young lady of Ryde
Who ate some green apples and died
The apples fermented
Within the lamented
And made cider inside her inside
Lovely.
...and isn't a chive what Prince Charles calls a chav?
I wish I'd typed my limerick in italics. It looks so cool.
I found this joke in a book on philosophy & thought I'd share it with you:-
An elderly married couple went to see their solicitor because they wanted a divorce-
'Why have you waited so long, you're both 93 & have been married over 70 years?'
'Well', replied the wife, 'we thought we'd wait until the children had died!'
When I got home from work yesterday Fanny's book was there on the mat and, despite Richard's scorn, I felt happier than I have for many years.
I'm not sure I deserved to win but quantity has prevailed over quality.
I'd like to thank Richard, my parents, my coentrants (particularly Nite Owl for kind comments) and, of course, God for giving us Fanny.
I've changed it into italics for you.
Best acceptance speech I've heard since Paltrow's.
Ooh...italics....how lovely!