What the hell is going on? Liverpool FC are actually winning matches at the start of the season. Haven't they read the script? Don't they realise they're not supposed to do that?
BBC: Liverpool 6-0 Derby
Liverpool outclassed Derby to move to the top of the Premier League table for the first time under Rafa Benitez…
It was an utterly dominant performance from the Reds, who have now won five out of their six games in all competitions this season - but none as easily as this.
Yes, and it would have been six out of six, had it not been for a certain visually challenged referee, who was almost certainly wearing Chelsea underpants at the time.
Yes, that's right, referee Ron Styles is the only person to have deprived Liverpool of points so far this season. As things stand, that puts him one point above Derby County.