Proud to report…

As our train emerged from the Channel Tunnel yesterday, the first words I ever uttered on French soil were: "Can you smell garlic?"

Don't ask about the loos on the overnight train from France to Italy, though. The dirty, dirty bastards. I've finally worked out why the French are such a miserable lot: permanent constipation.

Anyhow, hello from Florence, Italy, where I have just eaten a pistachio ice-cream, and watched egrets and kingfishers next to the River Arno.

Where does a chap get a decent cup of tea round here? (We brought our own, you know.)

Richard Carter

A fat, bearded chap with a Charles Darwin fixation.


  1. E pericoloso sporghesi. Not helpful I supect but it's all the Italian I can remember...

  2. Profuse apologies - I seem to have become anonymous - although my avatar seems to have grassed me up anyway!

  3. An extremely good restaurant in Florence is the Osteria Giovanni on the street to the Ponte Vecchio. Seems you quite like a good meal, and you'll certainly get one here, as well as being treated as a long lost member of the family.

  4. The most useful phrase in Italian that I know is 'tengo una minchia tanta'. It never fails.

  5. Just don't drink the Liptons as sold in the supermarcatos. Italian history is littered with the dead bodies of English who have drunk it in desperation.

    Enjoy the not at all homoerotic Christian art.

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