Music veterans Chas and Dave have split after 35 years together, their agent has announced.
Dave is retiring, but, fear not, I have the perfect solution:
Chaz 'n' Garfunkel
(Remember, you heard it here first.)
Meanwhile, in other news:
A female soldiers' rights group has had a major BUST-up with top Army brass—because their BRAS keep falling off. The Swedish women troops have complained that their undies are useless in combat because they come undone too easily and catch fire.