BBC: Pop veterans Chas and Dave split

Music veterans Chas and Dave have split after 35 years together, their agent has announced.

Dave is retiring, but, fear not, I have the perfect solution:

Chaz 'n' Garfunkel

(Remember, you heard it here first.)

Meanwhile, in other news:

Sun: Army bras are com-bust-ible

A female soldiers' rights group has had a major BUST-up with top Army brass—because their BRAS keep falling off. The Swedish women troops have complained that their undies are useless in combat because they come undone too easily and catch fire.

Richard Carter

A fat, bearded chap with a Charles Darwin fixation.


  1. The British army issue bra is called "The Sheepdog"...rounds 'em up and points 'em in the right direction. boom boom!

  2. A girlfriend once warned me that if I touched her bra, my fingers would get burnt. Luckily, I didn't believe her!

  3. also.....did you know that apart from being an ivory tickler (ooh er missus, they can't touch you for it! etc. etc), Chas played bass in a band called Heads, Hands & Tits Feet? Their rather excellent 'Warming up the tits band' is on the first Whistle Test DVD.

  4. Chas Hodges was (and is) an unsung musical genius.I pray you desist from furthersullying his good name with any monstrous Garfunkel on the face of humanity associations...

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