Punter fodder

A list of some of the Google search requests that brought new readers to the Gruts website over the last month. I have excluded some of the more colourful queries. There are an awful lot of unsavoury people out there:

  • 5 legged cow
  • abnormally large women
  • bat cake
  • bit of a damp squid
  • bored shitless
  • bulge in my pants
  • captain knobhead
  • cavewoman hairstyles
  • chesty amateurs
  • cows tits
  • darth vader i just met you and this is crazy
  • dead as a dormouse
  • death pie
  • define pedantic
  • dick biscuit
  • do chickens have tongues
  • dog doing poo
  • door to door cheese buisness
  • drowning management
  • fat lady statues
  • fat trampoline
  • flat caps for men
  • gay dogs
  • gnome chomsky
  • hammer and tongues
  • how do fish mate
  • how to draw a pig standing up
  • how to shit in the woods
  • how to spell liaise
  • how to trick a girl into kissing you
  • i am better than you
  • i am heathcliff
  • inkorrect
  • kittens with guns
  • knob jokes
  • korean three legged bird
  • lady gaga's nose
  • lebanese hair style
  • life is shite
  • man who ate guy face
  • milking horse
  • mingers
  • nude babs
  • nurses uniforms through the ages
  • people who eat roadkill
  • pissed off chimp
  • porn pig
  • prinz harry nazi
  • rate my fanny
  • rude owl
  • scary fat man
  • scottish people hump sheep
  • shell suits for women
  • shit fat girls who think their hot say
  • show me the boobies
  • silicone bimbo
  • stupid stereotypes
  • tell me something i don't know
  • typical frenchman
  • unusually large ugly baby born
  • we are better than you
  • we know what you're thinking and no we're not related
  • what a dud
  • what is that website called
  • who invented false teeth
  • who says woof
  • why aren't you watching porn
  • words that end with eb
  • world's fattest cow
  • yorkshire poo
  • you couldn't make it up
  • you're a knob

By Richard Carter

A fat, bearded chap with a Charles Darwin fixation.


  1. Nine from the bottom does rather win the prize for most pointless question for an internet search engine! Hell knows, when Google can answer that one I'm off to live at the top of a Tibetan hill!

  2. As ever, I was surprised at how perfectly innocent pages can end up getting lots of hits from perverts' searches (which I haven't listed). Google definitely needs to do more work on its algorithms.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *