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BBC: Frenzy builds for German 'cannibal' trial (02-Dec-03)
I do wish the BBC would stop over-using quotation marks to denote 'the implied questionable'. Check out their news site any time, day or night, and I think it's a fairly safe bet that you'll see at least one headline with quotation marks used in this way.
Regarding the headline quoted above, the German man in question admits killing another man and eating bits of him. There really is no need for the quotation marks: he's a cannibal.
Observer: The A-Z of laughter
Ahead of this week's British Comedy Awards, the Observer has decided to find out who really makes us laugh. With the help of a panel of expert judges, we present the 50 funniest people in Britain. From stand-up comedians to the backroom producers, from satirists to the kings of slapstick, this is a celebration of the very best of British humour.
Any such list that includes Rowan Atkinson and Jo Brand at the expense of Billy Connolly is clearly taking the piss.
Sunday Times: Blunkett: 'We don't want terror camp Britons'
David Blunkett, the [UK] home secretary, is blocking moves to repatriate the British terrorist suspects held at Guantanamo Bay… Families of the Guantanamo suspects had hoped the men might be home for Christmas. But the prospects of an early deal have been clouded by Blunkett's warnings that any proceedings in British civilian courts would probably end with acquittals through lack of admissible evidence. [Emphasis added.]
Who says justice is blind?
Anyone else noticed that 'David Blunkett' is an anagram of 'Dank devil-butt'? Kind of makes you think.
BBC: Ireland wins Miss World contest
Ireland has won the Miss World beauty pageant, held this year for the first time in China.
First Eurovision, then Riverdance and Westlife, now this. Dammit, those Irish are such a talented bunch!
New Scientist: Fossilised crustacean boasts oldest penis
A newly discovered 425 million-year-old fossil boasts a lurid claim to fame - it has the oldest penis on record. The five millimetre long crustacean, discovered by UK and US researchers, has been named Colymbosathon ecplecticos - derived from the Greek for "astounding swimmer with a large penis".
A five millimetre long crustacean… Large penis?
Child: "Mummy, why do people have to kill chickens?"
Mummy: "Because you can't eat them if they're alive."
Correct answer.
BBC: Oldest hamster food store found
A hoard of nuts buried by a rodent 17 million years ago is the oldest food larder so far discovered in the fossil record, say scientists in Germany.
Apparently, the nuts were found near an ancient wire treadmill.
BBC: Offensive jargon comes under fire (27-Nov-03)
Technology firms supplying Los Angeles County with hardware have been asked to avoid using the words "master" and "slave" to describe their products.
I take it they have no objection to the term "PC".
BBC: No volunteers for orgasm implant (26-Nov-03)
A scientist claiming to have invented a device which produces orgasms at the touch of a button can't find women to help him conduct trials into it.
With a chat-up line like his, is it any wonder?