Lentils

I have no idea who Alicia Silverstone is. Sure, I know the name, but I don't know why she's famous. Perhaps her dad designed Formula One race tracks or something. I could look it up, I suppose, but life's too short.

Anyway, Alicia Silverstone has got her kit off to make a pro-veggie ad. Never one to miss an opportunity for some gratuitous female nudity on Gruts, why don't I show it to you?

Alicia Silverstone seems like a nice lass. For a veggie with an obnoxiously twangy American accent, I mean. They're usually such miserable sods. Vegetarians, I mean, not Americans. Not all of them, you understand—some of my best friends are veggies—but an awful lot of them are such miserable, joyless, pasty-faced sods. Vegetarians, I mean, not my friends. And it's no coincidence they're miserable, joyless, pasty-faced sods: not enough meat, you see.

Anyway, the American pro-meat brigade have responded to the Alicia Silverstone ad with an identical one of their own. Identical, that is, except this one stars a fat bloke with a 'tache. Never one to seize an opportunity for some gratuitous male nudity on Gruts, why don't I post a link to it on YouTube instead?

Do you see what they're doing, there? They're trying to imply that being a vegetarian makes you into a sexy babe, whereas being a meat-eater makes you into a fat bloke with a 'tache. No mention of miserable, pasty-facedness. No mention of obnoxiously twangy American accents. No mention of poo that smells of lentils. No, become a veggie and become a sexy babe like Alicia Silverstone; eat meat and become a fat bloke with a 'tache; that's what they're saying.

Well, let me present you with an alternative dichotomy. Compare and contrast:

Some carrots

A vegetarian dinner this evening.

My dinner

My dinner this evening

Not so smug now, eh, Alicia?