Lentils

I have no idea who Alicia Silverstone is. Sure, I know the name, but I don't know why she's famous. Perhaps her dad designed Formula One race tracks or something. I could look it up, I suppose, but life's too short.

Anyway, Alicia Silverstone has got her kit off to make a pro-veggie ad. Never one to miss an opportunity for some gratuitous female nudity on Gruts, why don't I show it to you?

Alicia Silverstone seems like a nice lass. For a veggie with an obnoxiously twangy American accent, I mean. They're usually such miserable sods. Vegetarians, I mean, not Americans. Not all of them, you understand—some of my best friends are veggies—but an awful lot of them are such miserable, joyless, pasty-faced sods. Vegetarians, I mean, not my friends. And it's no coincidence they're miserable, joyless, pasty-faced sods: not enough meat, you see.

Anyway, the American pro-meat brigade have responded to the Alicia Silverstone ad with an identical one of their own. Identical, that is, except this one stars a fat bloke with a 'tache. Never one to seize an opportunity for some gratuitous male nudity on Gruts, why don't I post a link to it on YouTube instead?

Do you see what they're doing, there? They're trying to imply that being a vegetarian makes you into a sexy babe, whereas being a meat-eater makes you into a fat bloke with a 'tache. No mention of miserable, pasty-facedness. No mention of obnoxiously twangy American accents. No mention of poo that smells of lentils. No, become a veggie and become a sexy babe like Alicia Silverstone; eat meat and become a fat bloke with a 'tache; that's what they're saying.

Well, let me present you with an alternative dichotomy. Compare and contrast:

Some carrots

A vegetarian dinner this evening.

My dinner

My dinner this evening

Not so smug now, eh, Alicia?

2 thoughts on “Lentils

  1. Don't know if you went to the web-site they are pluging - goveg.com, but it rather amusingly has a link to "Happy Orgasm Day". Now that would surely sell more cards in Clintons than Mother's Aunt's cousin day.

  2. Wejust got back from Mississippi. America is not renowned for itsmeat freemenu,so we lived on catfish po-boys & cream cheese bagels. All washed down with gallons of bud lite. Back on the diet tomorrow!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *