Carolyn on her unusual, plum-coloured nail varnish:
"It goes with the top I'm wearing; it just doesn't go with my hands."
Ordering a meal at an Indian restaurant with Carolyn:
Waiter: "You want poppadums?"
Me: "Yes please."
Waiter: "To eat?"
Me: "Erm… Yes please."
[I think he meant two each?]
Overheard at work:
"Have you seen my scissors?"
"No, what do they look like?"
As I was walking through the streets of Liverpool the other day, a passenger in a 4x4 vehicle leant out of the window and shouted at me, "Fucking hell, it's David Bellamy!" True, we both sport magnificent beards and drink real ale, but there the similarity ends.