Headline in this week's Hebden Bridge Times:
Former addict stole gammon steaks for birthday treat
On first reading, I thought the felon must be a reformed meat addict, but it turns out they were talking about drugs. Pity - it would have given a whole new meaning to the phrase fancy a joint?
In the same edition of the Hebden Bridge Times:
Only three of the 2,500 ducks launched in the annual race along Hebden Water made it to the finishing line on Monday. Organisers blamed low water levels for the plastic competitors becoming grounded.
- Full story page three