Customer service One end of a telephone conversation, overheard while I was waiting to pay for a replacement tyre for my car last Friday: Good morning, this is Kwik-Fit. Nigel speaking. How can I be of assistance? … No, madam, we don't sell DVD players; that would be Kwik Save. … No, madam, I'm afraid I don't have their number. Richard Carter A fat, bearded chap with a Charles Darwin fixation. View all of Richard Carter's posts.