Mum: Sorry about the new loo paper.
Dad: Why? What's wrong with it?
Mum: It's not the usual stuff. It's rubbish. It is by Dulux, though.
Dad: Dulux?
Mum: I don't mean Dulux; I mean Andrex.
Careful, mum: you don't want to paint over the cracks.
Roll reversal
Dutch loo paper is like grey woodchip..ouch!
I know. And when you go for a poo in Holland, you have to crap onto a ledge in the porcelain, rather than directly into the loo water. Disgusting.
That's so you can poke it about with the spoon supplied & check that all is well. The Germans do the same.
I learnt that watching Eurotrash!