Mannerisms of the glabrous

Don't bald men seem to spend an awful lot of time rubbing their heads? They want to get over it. I'm fat, but I don't spend all day rubbing my stomach.

But perhaps I've got it the wrong way round. Perhaps rubbing their heads all day is what made them go bald in the first place.

Someone should do a study.

Richard Carter

A fat, bearded chap with a Charles Darwin fixation.


  1. My own observations have lead me to believe that bald men spend less time rubbing their heads than bearded men spend stroking their beards, Mr Carter. I think baldism is rearing its ugly head in your writing.


    /rubs head

  2. Actually, it's funny you should mention that, but I very nearly admitted to being an inveterate beard-stroker. I didn't mention it in the end because I thought it would weaken my otherwise brilliant argument. But you saw straight through that.

    It's still true about the head-rubbing, though.

  3. Based on your observations, I wonder what Michael Jackson was trying to tell us!

    I rub my bald spot merely because it feels funny, and of course, to check if it is getting any larger.

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