Letter to New Scientist:
Last night, I took Fred Pearce's advice ('Look, No Footprint', 10-Mar-2007) and installed 111 energy-efficient light-bulbs to offset the 11.1 tonnes of carbon emissions that I will be responsible for this year. All went well, until a passenger airliner en route for Manchester tried to land in my drive.
There must be easier ways to be green.
Postscript: New Scientist published this letter on 7th April, 2007.