1. and you know where you can stick the bloody sprouts!

    My wife feels it is her God given duty to force those horrid green canon balls on me at least once a week in the winter. Something to do with minerals? Luckily, they will not be in the shops much longer!

  2. A standing rule in our house is that all sprouts must be eaten. Otherwise they end up in the dogs bowl. Sprouty farts from the dog are far worse than my sprouty farts!

  3. Hey Keith, I'm a veggy. All my farts are guaranteed to turn heads (& stomachs)!

  4. Hi Nite Owl, as are my wife and daughter (I can't live without meat) but our whippet let's rip genocidal sbd's after green veg.

  5. Genetically speaking, we are pretty much identical to collies too - amazing what that last few % can do.

  6. Stop press.

    A survey published this week has discovered that the vegetable most hated by children is the aubergine. This leads me to ask the question:- how many children have ever seen an aubergine, let alone tasted one?

  7. Apparently 'knowledge' is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, 'wisdom' is knowing not to use it in a fruit salad...

  8. Why the hell did my last message come out with added As?? Now that would combine knowledge and wisdom - both of which I am obviously missing!

  9. Apparently 'Norman Knowledge' is knowing how to invade England; 'Norman Wisdom' is a little man on the telly prone to shouting "MISTER GRIMSDALE!!!' and falling over with tedious predictability.

  10. Jen and I saw Norman Wisdom at an airport on the Isle of Man once. I dared her to go up to him and shout "MISTER GRIMSDALE!!!" in his face, but she chickened out.

  11. You'll never catch me doing anything to validate your daft rules.


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