Nonsense

Hebden Bridge Times: Thirty month ban for drink driver A Hebden Bridge woman who twice hit a car while trying to turn a corner was banned from driving for 30 months… Ms Maggie Wood for [defendant] Flory said she "deeply regretted" the incident and had picknicked.

BBC: HRT 'doubles breast cancer risk' Taking certain types of hormone replacement therapy (HRT) can double the risk of developing breast cancer, says a study of more than a million women. This is an irresponsible, scaremongering headline (whether they use inverted commas or not). Saying that a risk is doubled doesn't say anything about how… Continue reading …And statistics

"Can I have two of those buffalo mozzarellas, please?" "Have you got a number?" "Have I got a what?" "A number." "What sort of number?" "A number from that roll over there, to show it's your turn to be served." "I'm the only person here." "It's just some of the other customers might get upset… Continue reading Conversation at the Tesco delicatessen counter

BBC: Penis is a competitive beast [A] team from the State University of New York believe the thrust of the penis during sex may help to clear a woman's reproductive system of a previous lover's semen. Eeeew! We're entering into serious sicko territory here: They tested their theory in experiments using latex phalluses, an artificial… Continue reading Giving me the willies

In the Liverpool branch of John Lewis (still known locally as George Henry Lee, despite the recent needless name change), they are selling an "Anthony Worrall Thompson Juice Extractor" for £89.50. Hey, I'd pay that much just to watch the look on his face.

BBC: Welsh have 'survival gene' Professor Jane Aaron, of the University of Glamorgan, has a theory on why the Welsh seem to respond to adversity with an extra effort. [She] says the Welsh have what might be likened to a survival gene - a setback prompts a renewed burst of creative energy. Oh dear, here… Continue reading The Welshish Gene

BBC: Skydiver plans Channel flight [29-Jul-03] An Austrian with a carbon wing strapped to his back is to attempt to fly across the English Channel unaided. Unusual use of the word unaided. BBC: Wild horses return to Kazakhstan [30-Jul-03] The world's only truly wild horse, known as Przewalski's horse, is to be re-introduced into Kazakhstan… Continue reading Define 'pedantic'

BBC: Idi Amin's 'condition worsens' Lord Archer freed from prison