H5N1

This bird flu thing: I can't help feeling they'll start taking it a lot more seriously if it ever jumps the species gap into blokes.

Unexpected treat

Yesterday, while rooting through the kitchen for something to eat during an attack of the munchies, I came across an unexpected treat: a scotch whisky cake which Stense presented me with last Christmas. I had completely forgotten about it.

Although it was past its consume by date, I reckoned it would still be all right to eat: it was made from dried fruit and malt whisky, for Pete's sake—how could it possibly have gone off?

Stense, it was fantastic, thanks. Mind you, what else should I have expected? The clue was in the name:

whisky / cake

A-maize-ing

Jen and I were watching the film Sleepy Hollow last night, when I realised something truly amazing that is most easily conveyed by means of a simple Venn diagram:

Venn Diagram

A = Films featuring veteran American actor Martin Landau.
B = Films where people are chased through a corn field.
C = North By Northwest, The X-Files Movie, and Sleepy Hollow.

Kind of makes you think. Sometimes the truth does taste like a mouthful of worms.

More difficult than it should have been

I replaced a headlamp bulb in Jen's car yesterday. It took me over an hour, involving as it did the removal of five screws, some cowling, the car's radiator grill, and the entire headlamp.

And, yes, before you ask, I did indeed check the car's manual, and that is how you are supposed to do it.

Call me old-fashioned, but didn't it used to be a lot simpler in the old days?

Why isn't Rugby Union our national sport?

BBC: England 47-13 Wales

England's pack produced a powerful display as they began their Six Nations campaign with victory against reigning Grand Slam champions Wales.

They're tough, skillful, intelligent, they play by the rules, they are respectful to the referees, when they appear to be injured they really are injured, they know the lyrics to the National Anthem, they don't marry Spice Girls, there isn't a prima donna or designer haircut amongst them, and they seem to have acquired the habit of bloody well winning. What better role models could we hope to find for our English youth?

And it's so much more exciting than bloody cricket.

Overheard on daytime TV

TV presenter: Plastic surgery has completely transformed your life, hasn't it, Margery?
Margery: It certainly has: I can't stop smiling!

Sounds to me as if Margery has a strong case for medical malpractice.

Published
Filed under: Nonsense

Banner images

If you've ever wondered about any of the banner images that appear across the top of the Gruts home page and various other pages on this website, I have just uploaded copies of all the original photos from which the banners are taken to my Flickr account. They are filed in the Banner Images photoset.

So now you know.

Fanny update

Dear Richard,

I'm writing to let you know that I've finished reading the copy of Fanny Cradock's "The Lormes of Castle Rising" that I won in your "My Fanny in your Hands" competition some months ago.

I can't deny that it's been hard going, but I was determined to finish it and I'm glad I did, if only for the satisfaction found in completing such a Sisyphean task.

I found it a bit heavy on historical detail and a bit light on imagination and ripping yarns, but I've got to give her some credit for writing a better novel than I'll ever manage to write.

Thanks again for letting me get my hands on your Fanny.

I intend to give the book to my sister-in-law for her birthday. She likes cooking and likes reading so it should be a dead cert' for loads of Brownie points.

Yours sincerely,

Justin

Laughing stock

Text message from Carolyn:

H[oward] spent all Fri. pm making stock for his soup and I thought it was dirty water and threw it away. He wasn't very pleased!