BBC: Australian PM wins fourth term
Australia's Prime Minister John Howard says he is "humbled" after winning a fourth term in office.
Confident prediction: John will be the only Howard elected Prime Minister this decade.
Example
A correspondent is surprised that I didn't comment on this last week. So am I:
BBC: Emperor and mystic nun beatified
Pope John Paul II has declared five Roman Catholics blessed, including the last Austro-Hungarian emperor and a nun who inspired a Hollywood film…
However, the beatification of Emperor Karl I has been criticised by some as he authorised the use of poison gas by his army in World War I…
"I hope Emperor Karl will serve as an example, especially for those with political responsibilities in Europe today," the Pope said.
As I no doubt would have commented: Barking!
113 Years War
BBC: Scots bid to win back border town
Fresh calls are being made for the Northumberland town of Berwick to become part of Scotland again. The town, which lies about a mile from the border, has changed hands between the two countries a number of times. Now the leader of the Scottish Borders Council, David Parker, says he would like to see a referendum for people in the town to decide.
Yes, Berwick-upon-Tweed's ever-changing nationality was the cause of one of the longest wars in history: the great Berwicko-Russian War (1853–1966). As is explained on the Undiscovered Scotland website:
Even Henry VII's final capture of the town in 1482 didn't entirely simplify matters. Under the Treaty of Perpetual Peace between Henry VII of England and James IV of Scotland in 1502 (just 11 years before the Scottish army and nobility was destroyed by the English at the Battle of Flodden) Berwick was given a special status as being "of" the Kingdom of England but not "in" it. As a result the town thereafter needed special mention in royal proclamations.
This had one odd effect. When Queen Victoria signed the declaration of war on Russia in 1853, she did so in the name of "Victoria, Queen of Great Britain, Ireland, Berwick-upon-Tweed and the British Dominions beyond the sea." But Berwick was not mentioned in the Treaty of Paris that concluded the Crimean War in 1856, leaving the town technically still at war with Russia.
A peace treaty was only finally signed by a Russian diplomat and the the Mayor of Berwick in 1966. As the mayor said at the time: "You can tell the Russian people that they can now sleep peacefully in their beds".
Them Nesh Tikes
BBC: GPs confused by 'manky' patients
A group of foreign doctors left baffled by South Yorkshire slang are being taught the local dialect so they know when their patients feel "champion". The seven Austrians are fluent English speakers but were left confused by patients feeling "jiggered" or "manky"…YORKSHIRE TO ENGLISH:
- Ey oop = Hello
- Fizog = Face
- Lughole = Ear
- Jiggered = Exhausted
- Manky = Rough
- Our lass = Wife
- Gipping = Vomiting
Lughole, fizog, jiggered, manky: Yorkshire dialect? I think not! Doesn't everyone in England know and occasionally use them? Fizog is a great word (it's short for physiognomy, don't you know?).
And I'm not even sure about the definitions of the genuinely Yorkshire words. Jen (a 100% Yorkshire lass), also tends to use ey oop as an expression of surprise when something goes wrong (c.f. oops-a-daisy), and, to her, our lass is her sister.
But to gip, meaning to vomit or feel like vomiting, is a wonderful Yorkshire word that has now passed into this incomedun's vocabulary, along with while (until), spawny (lucky), and thoil (tolerate).
Yew and me
S T E N S E ! The next time I'm in your neck of the woods, let's go to Fortingall church!
Illustrated Guide to Places to Visit: Fortingall Yew
Fortingall is a small village in the heart of Perthshire, at the entrance to Glen Lyon, not far from Loch Tay. The yew tree which grows there has been estimated to be at least 3,000 years old and possibly as old as 5,000 years. It is certainly the oldest living organism in Britain and possibly the world. It's [sic] girth at one stage was over 56 feet when measured in 1769.
Holy crap!
Jargon buster
BBC: Suzuki sets Major League record
Seattle's Ichiro Suzuki broke the Major League record for hits in a season with three singles in the 8-3 victory over the Texas Rangers. The Japanese star matched George Sisler's 84-year record of 257 with a single in the opening inning before adding another two runs to his total.
I had absolutely no idea what this meant when I first read it. Having recently read a book about baseball by one of my heroes, the late Stephen Jay Gould, I knew enough to realise that Suzuki's achievement was a very big deal in the world of baseball. But, as I bemoaned at the time, Gould's book didn't contain a glossary, so I hadn't a clue what a hit might be (presumably it involves hitting the ball), and as for a hitting streak or a batting average, well I was totally stumped.
But, yet again, the good old Beeb comes to the rescue. For they have been thoughtful enough to compile a useful baseball jargon buster. It turns out:
- a hit is when a player connects with the ball and gets to at least first base. This is the most important statistic for a non-pitcher.
- a batting average, as in cricket, is the key measure of player's worth. In short, it is the number of hits made divided by at bats (q.v.).
But the jargon buster still doesn't explain what a hitting streak is; nor why Joe DiMaggio's legendary 56-game hitting streak was (according to Gould) the greatest ever achievement in any sport. I'm guessing it's a sequence of 56 games where you have at least one hit per game.
Anyone who knows for certain what a 56-game hitting streak is, please leave a comment.
Pot/Kettle
BBC: Kilroy-Silk: I want to lead UKIP
Robert Kilroy-Silk has confirmed he wants to be the leader of UKIP but says there is no mechanism for him to run against current leader Roger Knapman.
Yes, that's right: the party that is up in arms about the proposed European Constitution, saying it is undemocratic, doesn't even have a mechanism in its own constitution for getting rid of the party leader. It would seem that xenophobic scaremongering isn't the only idea UKIP stole from the Nazis.
Heritage industry
Postcard from Fitz and Moley, on their honeymoon:
Ireland is much more traditional than it used to be.
They're totally right, of course.
Leaving in style
BBC: New funeral service goes off-road
A new funeral service is aiming to give Land Rover enthusiasts one last ride in an off-road vehicle. Alpha 4x4 Funerals is believed to be the only funeral directors in the country to provide a Land Rover hearse.
Parting shots
Bloody hell, is the world of photography having a totally crap year, or what? A quick glance at this year's Toasts reveals that we have lost the following:
I think I'd better hang up my cameras until the new year.