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BBC: Private Lynch signs $1m book deal
The American soldier Jessica Lynch, who was rescued by US special forces after being taken prisoner in Iraq, has signed a $1m book deal with publisher Alfred A Knopf… [Photo caption:] Private Lynch is said to remember little of her ordeal.
Well, that should make a fascinating read, then.
BBC: Asteroid danger in 2014 downplayed
Astronomers monitoring near Earth objects are playing down the chances of a newly-discovered asteroid hitting Earth in 2014. They say that there is a one in 909,000 chance of asteroid 2003 QQ47 impacting our planet. The chances of a catastrophe are likely to become even slimmer once more measurements of the asteroid's orbit have been made.
Erm, no they're not: the chances of this potential catastrophe happening will in no way be affected by any measurements we might happen to make on Earth (either the catastrophe will happen, or it will not). Only the predicted odds of the catastrophe happening will be affected by the measurements.
Meanwhile, elsewhere on the BBC website:
Of course, strictly speaking, you can't talk about statistical peaks occurring in the present tense: for all we know, the temperature might continue to rise—in which case, the temperature now wouldn't be the peak.
New York Times: Evolution on the Meat-Sex Exchange (28-Aug-03)
…[Author of the dodgy book under review] Dr. Shlain should know that the feminist revolution reached into anthropology more than 30 years ago and no one now doubts that women were big-time players in evolution. To suggest that women should have their own genus name, Gyno sapiens, seems not only dated, but a bit silly
…And classically inconsistent: the Linnean (scientific) classification, Homo sapiens (literally wise/thinking man) takes its root from the Latin word for (hu)man, homo, whereas the root Gyno is from the ancient Greek word for woman. By rights, therefore, Shlain should have concocted his fake Linnean classification for thinking woman using the Latin word for woman, viz Femina sapiens (or maybe even Femina sapienta—my Latin isn't what it used to be).
Alternatively, given it is often claimed that wisdom comes with age, he could have used the Latin word for old woman, but I suppose, if he suggested the name Anus sapiens, people would think he was being a smart-arse.
Conversation over coffee with my friend, a local farmer, this morning:
BBC: Photo shows elderly Elvis
An image of Elvis Presley as he might look today has been created by computer experts at a Scottish university.
Just one question:
Why?
Let's face it, considering he died in 1977, whatever Elvis looks like now, it's going to be pretty gross.
BBC: Quaker parrots invade Barcelona
A plague of Quaker parrots is causing alarm in the Spanish city Barcelona… The Quaker parrot is an aggressive bird and grows to an intimidating 30 centimetres (12 inches) plus in height.
Oooooooooh! Like I'm really scared… That's an intimidating—how should I put it?—pigeon-sized 12 inches! I'm almost literally quaking in my shoes!
…Mind you, pigeons can be pretty scary.
Customer in pub: Can I have half a pint of cider and a glass of Coke please?Landlord: No problem.[Landlord pours cider and places glass in front of customer.]Customer: Which one's that?
BBC: Irish minister links incense to cancer
An Irish Government minister has warned that burning incense in churches could be harmful to the altar boys and girls who help Roman Catholic priests celebrate mass.
Apparently it's OK to try to indoctrinate these children with ridiculous ritualistic mumbo-jumbo, but letting them breathe in fumes at the same time is seen as detrimental to their wellbeing.
Carolyn says she's discovered that her right nostril is allergic to alcohol. Do you think I should tell her she's not supposed to drink it that way?
BBC: Five second pint-puller launched (16-Aug-03)
Waiting a long time to be served at the bar could soon be a thing of the past thanks to a new device which can pour pints in just five seconds… The Publican newspaper said Coors Brewers had teamed up with dispensing specialists, IMI Cornelius, to trial the new system in outlets for their Carling brand.
Coors, I might have guessed. Those Americans really don't have a clue about beer (apart from Madonna, of course).