Gruts

BBC: Welsh have 'survival gene'
Professor Jane Aaron, of the University of Glamorgan, has a theory on why the Welsh seem to respond to adversity with an extra effort. [She] says the Welsh have what might be likened to a survival gene - a setback prompts a renewed burst of creative energy.

Oh dear, here we go… That's likened to a survival gene; Prof Aaron is a Professor of Literarture—she's talking figuratively, not literally.

I do wish people would stop inventing new genes willy-nilly like this—especially silly (and dangerous) patriotic genes. What next? Look-you-genics? There isn't a special Welsh survival gene that magically kicks in under adverse conditions, in the same way that there aren't special Welsh genes for synchronised singing, eating leeks, and losing at rugby.

BBC: Skydiver plans Channel flight [29-Jul-03]
An Austrian with a carbon wing strapped to his back is to attempt to fly across the English Channel unaided.

Unusual use of the word unaided.

BBC: Wild horses return to Kazakhstan [30-Jul-03]
The world's only truly wild horse, known as Przewalski's horse, is to be re-introduced into Kazakhstan after becoming extinct there 60 years ago. Munich Zoo, in Germany, which bred the animals in captivity…

Unusual use of the word wild. The article continues…

"The Przewalski's survival chances are good. There are snow leopards there but they don't usually go for full grown horses," said Beatrix Rau, curator at Munich Zoo.

Well, they're hardly likely to go for horses if the horses went extinct there 60 years ago, are they?

Still, at least Ms Rau didn't claim that Przewalski's horses are rarer than giant pandas.

BBC:

• Idi Amin's 'condition worsens'
• Lord Archer freed from prison

As you can see, I've added a new comments feature to each item on this page. I'm still playing around with it, and the Prime Minister has told me to sex it up a bit, but it more or less works. Why not give it a go?

BBC: TV swearing 'promotes grunt culture'
The "f-word" was used almost 1,500 times in films on the [UK's] five terrestrial television channels in the first half of this year, according to a report published by Mediawatch-UK.

Sick, sick, sick! Someone should stop them. What sort of twisted fucker spends their evenings counting swear-words on telly?

All this from an organisation whose website splash screen admits, "It may take a few seconds to come up". Must be all that bromide.

BBC: Britain lays claim to lasagne
Italy may be a land of lazy lunches and sun-kissed siestas, but challenge its reputation for home-grown cuisine at your peril.

Ah, yes, Italy! Famous for its siestas and its cuisine—and let's not forget its paella and its bull-fights.

BBC: The purrfect crime fighter [08-Jul-03]
A new detective is on the beat in central Russia - Rusik the cat - the latest weapon in the battle against sturgeon smugglers.

Then, just four days later:

BBC: Fishy end for feline sleuth [12-Jul-03]
Russia's only sniffer cat, which was taken on to track down sturgeon smugglers, has been run over and killed… Police believe it was a contract killing.

A stupid story just got stupider. Don't you just love stuff like that?