Gruts

BBC:

• Idi Amin's 'condition worsens'
• Lord Archer freed from prison

As you can see, I've added a new comments feature to each item on this page. I'm still playing around with it, and the Prime Minister has told me to sex it up a bit, but it more or less works. Why not give it a go?

BBC: TV swearing 'promotes grunt culture'
The "f-word" was used almost 1,500 times in films on the [UK's] five terrestrial television channels in the first half of this year, according to a report published by Mediawatch-UK.

Sick, sick, sick! Someone should stop them. What sort of twisted fucker spends their evenings counting swear-words on telly?

All this from an organisation whose website splash screen admits, "It may take a few seconds to come up". Must be all that bromide.

BBC: Britain lays claim to lasagne
Italy may be a land of lazy lunches and sun-kissed siestas, but challenge its reputation for home-grown cuisine at your peril.

Ah, yes, Italy! Famous for its siestas and its cuisine—and let's not forget its paella and its bull-fights.

BBC: The purrfect crime fighter [08-Jul-03]
A new detective is on the beat in central Russia - Rusik the cat - the latest weapon in the battle against sturgeon smugglers.

Then, just four days later:

BBC: Fishy end for feline sleuth [12-Jul-03]
Russia's only sniffer cat, which was taken on to track down sturgeon smugglers, has been run over and killed… Police believe it was a contract killing.

A stupid story just got stupider. Don't you just love stuff like that?

BBC: Maguire says Spider-Man 2 'better'
Spider-Man actor Tobey Maguire has said the forthcoming sequel is "better" than the original.

For those of us who saw the original, this will come as no surprise whatsoever. Just for the record, it was pants—spider pants.

And while I'm in the mood for slagging off Marvel™-type-comic-related films, am I the only person who thinks the new Incredible Hulk looks like something that came free with a Big Mac™? Watch this space…

BBC: Nuns seek Mother Teresa copyright [09-Jul-03]
The order of nuns founded by Mother Teresa has applied for copyright to her name in an attempt to stop its exploitation by commercial interests.

As in so many other matters, where Elvis leads, Mother Teresa follows. I'm sure this has absolutely nothing to do with trying to corner the lucrative "Saint Teresa" market, no siree, Bob.

Apparently, after the precident has been set, the pope plans to copyright the name "John Paul", then demand a retrospective share of the Beatles' profits.

BBC: US man wakes from 19-year coma [09-Jul-03]
A man from the US state of Arkansas has regained consciousness after spending 19 years in a coma.

The world must seem so different to the one he left in 1984. Why, back then, everyone was talking about George Orwell, Eddie Murphy was a top US box office attraction, the majority of Americans didn't believe in evolution, and there was a bumbling Republican war-monger in the Oval Office.