BBC: Rembrandt victim of 'botched ear piercing' [12-Jun-03]
The artist Rembrandt may have been one of the earliest victims of a bungled attempt at ear piercing, according to a British surgeon.
I bet Vincent van Gogh used the same excuse.
Freewheeling part 2
Exactly two months ago, I discovered that I could freewheel my car from my house all the way into town—a distance of just under a mile.
Mile, schmile… This evening, on my way home from work, I discovered that I could freewheel my car all the way down the B6138 through Cragg Vale—that's a magnificent 5.4 miles!
I tried the same stunt yesterday, but failed when I caught up with a learner driver who was all over the bloody road. I nearly didn't make it today either: half-way down, some hat-wearing slowcoach in a beige Nissan Sunny pulled out in front of me and trundled agonisingly sensibly down the hill, hitting the brakes at the merest hint of a bend (of which there are many). I seriously considered trying to overtake him, but instead eased back on one of the steeper sections and let him pull away from me—which must have been something of a unique experience for him.
Menaces like that shouldn't be allowed on our roads.
Postscript: The record is now 5.7 miles—I found a bit more road at either end. Next time I'm slaloming.
Untitled
BBC: Berry sues over $2m mansion
Actress Halle Berry is suing the couple who sold her a $2m (£1.25m) mansion saying she was not told the site needed huge repairs.
Two million dollars for a house, and she couldn't afford a surveyor's report. It's such a shame: they look like a really nice couple—as, indeed, do the people Ms Berry is suing.
Fix
BBC: Horse defeats men in £24,000 race [07-Jun-03]
Two legs have again lost out to four in one of Wales' most peculiar race events. Hundreds of spectators turned out to see 378 runners try and beat their equine opponents in the annual Man v Horse Marathon in mid Wales… No man has ever beaten the leading horse in the 24 years the event has been held, and this year the £24,000 prize - which has accumulated over the years - again went unclaimed.
Bloody fix! Try a rope-climbing race next year, and see who wins then, you smarmy, buck-toothed, manure generators (and your horses).
Cheryl
I was sitting in a restaurant in Derbyshire with a colleague last night. I had already repositioned all the radiators and was searching for a network connection under the tablecloth, when the actress Cheryl Ladd, of 1970/80s Charlie’s Angels fame, entered the restaurant with a small entourage and sat at the table next to us.
”That’s Cheryl Ladd,” I hissed to my colleage. “…of Charlie’s Angels fame,” I added, just in case he was wondering.
My colleague couldn’t hear what I was hissing and asked me to speak up.
”That’s Cheryl Ladd out of Charlie’s Angels,” I hissed, slightly louder. “She was my heart-throb when I was younger. I used to have posters of her on my wall. I’ve even got an album of hers. It’s called Cheryl Ladd.”
My colleague didn’t seem too impressed—even when Cheryl rose to make a short speech to the press pack that had followed her into the restaurant. She was promoting the new Charlie’s Angels 2 movie.
Then I woke up.
Earlier that night, I’d had another dream in which Jen and I were on holiday in Antarctica. We’d found a nice little pub in a picturesque, snowy village that sold London Pride on gas (eugh!), and a very decent real ale. Unfortunately, the latter soon ran out, so I volunteered to catch a helicopter to Australia to bring back some more beer.
Untitled
BBC News: Liverpool named Capital of Culture [04-Jun-03]
Liverpool has been named European Capital of Culture 2008 … The leader of Liverpool City Council, Councillor Mike Storey, said: "This is like Liverpool winning the Champions League, Everton winning the double and the Beatles reforming all on the same day - and Steve Spielberg coming to the city to make a Hollywood blockbuster about it."
He forgot to mention Manchester United being relegated from the third division. Might as well go the whole hog.
This evening's Star Trek TNG
Data: Lt. Desora just gave me what could be considered to be a very passionate kiss in the torpedo bay.
Fnaar-fnaar!
Gecko
I woke up yesterday morning and my eyes looked like a gecko's: all swollen and scaley. Nice. I usually have trouble with mild eczema on my eyelids in the summer, but they had never been this bad before.
The swelling had reduced this morning, but my eyes still looked pretty bad, so I went to see my new doctor. I don't know what came over me, but, for some reason, I decided to indicate how swollen my eyes had been yesterday by cupping my hands over my eyes and puffing out my cheeks.
"What, like this?" asked my doctor, cupping her hands over her eyes and puffing out her cheeks.
I have known this woman for exactly 30 seconds, and already she's taking the piss out of me. Story of my life.
Later, Carolyn sent me a text message, asking how my eyes were. I texted her back, saying the doctor had given me six months… "TO DO WHAT?" came Carolyn's reply.
Redefining the word Rock 'n' Roll
Our friends' teenage son is in a rock band with the absolutely brilliant name of Worried About Dave. They played a battle-of-the-bands-type gig recently, so an artistically inclined friend of theirs made them a banner to hang behind the stage. Unfortunately, his capital Rs looked more like Bs, so the band was introduced as WOBBIED ABOUT DAVE.
Very Spinal.
I have seen the future of Rock & Roll
…and its name is Broooooooooooooce!
Very good. Very good indeed. And very punctual. The chap is a complete pro—even when trying to hang upside down from his mike stand and falling off.