This is absolutely true: I was washing my hair on Friday (Good Friday), when I glanced down and saw a few loose strands of hair floating on the water. They spelt my name: Rich.
It was a sign from God—there can be no other logical explanation.
The other strands of hair in the water were clearly about to rearrange themselves into an instruction to go to the Land of Egypt, or something like that, when I twiched and a drop of water fell off the end of my nose and obliterated the Word of God.
I couldn't help it. The Devil made me do it.