I went for one of my frequent strolls around the Albert Dock in Liverpool on Tuesday. The shops there have gone a bit more up-market recently, but there is still plenty of tourist-friendly tat on display. This time, a miniature, fake-bronze bust of John Lennon caught my eye. On the plinth underneath was a short, tasteful inscription:
It finally hit home: Jesus Christ! I am older than John Lennon!
No, it's worse than that: next year, I overtake Elvis.
See also: King all shook up