Say my mum's new puppy is the cutest thing you ever saw in your life, or I will run over your cat!
She's called Molly, after my late grandmother. Had she been named after my other late grandmother, she would have been called Margaret.
So Molly it was.
I've given her the same speech I gave her much-missed predecessor when she was about the same age, explaining how she has a hell of an act to follow, but I'm sure she'll do just fine.
Best birthday present ever, according to mum.
I would - but my own small but ludicrous dog is in fact cuter.
I understand this means that you need to run over my cat. Fang, international cat of mystery and psychotic tortoiseshell killing machine says "Bring it on".
You are clearly deluded, in that you:
Are the tortoiseshells that Fang kills butterflies or cats? If the latter, I might be prepared to let him/her live.
...err your mum's new puppy is the cutest thing I have ever seen.
Don't know why I said that. I don't even have a cat
Phoneix
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You don't have a cat?
I like you already!
I don't own Fang. She lets me feed her and provide a roof over her head and in return only inflicts flesh wounds on me. This is a cat with some leopard in her - probably one she caught and ate.
For an imaginary dog, I can only say she produces an extraordinary quantity of sh..
Off to Shrewsbury for the festival next month, I presume?