Driving into Hebden Bridge for The Sunday Times this morning (our butler reads it), I turned a corner and came face-to-face with an elderly chap driving his car the wrong way down a one-way street. I slammed on my brakes, flashed my lights, and held a finger in the air, mouthing thing the words "ONE WAY!!"

The old chap mounted the pavement and squeezed past me, staring at me as if it was me who was the total fucking idiot.

Richard Carter

A fat, bearded chap with a Charles Darwin fixation.


  1. Was he perchance pursued by a mob of angry lesbians? What is the correct collective noun for a group of lesbians (angry or otherwise) I wonder?

  2. For angry lesbians only, I would suggest "A feminism of lesbians".

    Looking at the web for obscure collective nouns, one discovers that "a bed" applies to snakes. Now I don't draw any similarity between lesbians (angry or otherwise) and snakes, but I do wonder under what circumsatnces one might apply the term "a bed of lesbians".

    There's also a collective noun for baboons which would be bizarrely amusing when applied to lesbians, but I daren't even risk commenting on that.

    Will now spend the rest of the day looking over my shoulder for angry lesbians.

  3. Wikipedia spuriously lists the appropriate collective noun as a lick (of lesbians). Sounds interesting.

    Can I watch?

  4. What about a 'Cleavage of Lesbians'? As in cleaving together....but cleave can also mean it still applies, sort of.

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