Tip not included

I receive email:

Copy of Michelangelo's David, Florence
David's genitals yesterday.

Dear Mr. Carter

I am a designer working for very small (and very new) publisher in Copenhagen Denmark.

I am interested in a photo you took of Michelangelo's David in Firenza [Florence] that features a sharp detail of the sculpture's genitals, which I saw at »Flickr«. The image is located at the following address: <http://www.flickr.com/photos/gruts/442314069/in/set-72157600040809215/>

I am interested in reproducing this image (with reimbursement, of course) as a cover illustration for a Danish publication, a book detailing the pros and cons of male circumcision. As Denmark is a small country, print-runs are usually quite limited and this book is expected to have max. print run of 2000 copies.

If interested, we will be needing a high resolution image (min. 300 dpi) @ apprx. 250 mm in height.

Look forward to hearing from you.

All the best from Copenhagen

[Name and address supplied]

I said yes, obviously. Any proceeds to the Beagle Project.

Richard Carter

A fat, bearded chap with a Charles Darwin fixation.


  1. Penis puns? You seem a bit too cock sure that we loyal Gruts readers (yes, we really do exist), would rise to the bait. I felt equally sure you would block any of our limp attempts to tackle this one.

  2. Wait a minute. A book on male circumcision? But Michelangelo's David is famously mistakenly uncircumcised - the historical David would no doubt have been.

    And did you hear about the cross-eyed circumciser who got the sack?

    And did you know that circumcisers get paid, on average, £250 a session. Plus tips.


  3. He chose your photo over all the others on Flickr.

    Makes you wonder how stiff the competition was.

  4. The thing I most admire about this particular piece of sculpture is how Michelangelo managed to find a model with such superbly groomed pubes. Not so much a 'brazilian' as a 'florentine' (that'll make you think twice next time you're buying one at a bakers). The other puzzle about this statue is - if that's David, how big was bloody Goliath? - and thank god we don't have to look at his dick.

  5. Merkin? possibly. I suppose it was best to be prepared for the unexpected exposure and create a good impression. Nowadays you'd be more likely to be tatooed along the length of the organ - MASTS which on certain occasions would read MASSACHUSSETS

  6. HELLO - Hey, I'vE just back from hoLiday in honuLulu, how the hell are yOu!

  7. Great to see such wonderful interaction between the male and female fans of Gruts, considering that theres a vas deferens between the two.

  8. Two Jewish men stood at a urinal:-

    One says 'Dr. Cohen, St. Hymie's, 1968'

    The other asks 'how can you tell?'

    The first replies 'he always cuts them on a slant, you're pissing down my leg!'

  9. My best friend's name is Dick & he has had all of the jokes & insults.

    My favourite was when someone asked him 'have you got the time on ya dick?' His instant reply was 'no, just two hands!'

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