The lady who comes to cut our hair came to cut our hair yesterday. It was pissing down.
"I feel really sorry for those poor sheep in the field behind your house," she said, as she trimmed my beard. "They looked really wet and miserable."
"It's worse than that," I said. "When sheep get wet, their fleeces shrink, so they get squeezed from all sides."
"That's why their eyes bulge out."
"Really, is that true?! Jen, is he having me on?"
"Yes, he is," said Jen, trying to stop stuff coming out of her nose.
"It's a good job you told me: I was about to go and tell all of my friends!"